While it may be hard to make ourselves understood right now, there is a logical explanation. Mercury retrogrades and confounds our understanding, meaning and interpretation. Let actions speak louder and prouder than words.

CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) In these tenuous economic times, pink Caps have remained relatively unscathed. However, you may find that the next few weeks offer a variety of poor fiscal temptations designed to lighten your payload. Stay strong and keep you wallet under lock and key. Avoid splurges and “advice” from “experts.” There will be plenty of time to buy and sell in the spring.

AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) If you are angling to make the perfect first impression, postpone your debut for a few weeks if possible. Aqueerians don’t realize the impact they can make on others now. This is the perfect time to kick back, surround yourself with close compadres and just enjoy. Hang with those who love you for you who are — warts and all. Hide your blemishes next month.

PISCES (02.20-03.20) Something that you say could come back and surprise you later on. Will you reveal a closely-guarded secret? Or, is there someone working behind the scenes who tries (perhaps unsuccessfully) to undo you? Guppies will have a guardian angel when they need it, but try not to tempt fate by purposely trying to unearth deeply buried mysteries. The gossip column can wait.

ARIES (03.21-04.20) Proud Rams find that simple conversations with pals are actually not that simple. Any planned activities do not go as planned. Mishaps, confusions and misinterpretations can scuttle certain tenuous relationships. The secret to your social success for the next few weeks is to take things as they come and go, remain very flexible and maintain a good sense of humor. Uh, oh.

TAURUS (04.21-05.21) If you are brimming with good ideas, try to keep them to yourself, especially in conversations with the power elite. No sooner said than over done in any career matter. Queer Bulls are advised to take some well-deserved time off or quietly blend into the corporate wallpaper. There will be time to dazzle the bosses after the winter thaw when you are cooler than cool.

GEMINI (05.22-06.21) Check and double check any vacation plans for the next weeks. Not only do pink Twins go astray (and, that may be deliberate…), but they might also lose their luggage, travel companions or itinerary along the way. Nothing here is drastic: It is just annoying. But, if you can maintain your sense of adventure, you might turn a simple forgettable trip to a lifetime memory. Oh, goodie.

CANCER (06.22-07.23) Pack up and store your animal magnetism for another day, gay Crab. Not only can your best love lines fall flat, you might misjudge a light flirtation and get in over your head. Of course, mishaps can spice up your currently quiet love life. There is nothing like a little jealousy and wrath to make things interesting and passionate. That is, if that is your “thing.”

LEO (07.24-08.23) Proud Lions can accidentally scuttle the ship of state. Make sure that anything you discuss with partners is tempered and clearly understood. Compromise may be possible, but it is equally possible that the two of you reach and agree to different conclusions. For those cats who are on the prowl, promise nothing. It will only get you into trouble later.

VIRGO (08.24-09.23)
As your New Year’s resolutions start to kick in, you can be forgiven for giving yourself a reprieve from any health or diet change. Queer Virgins might find that even their best laid plans lay an egg. So, allow yourself to remain buttered and fried rather than scrambled. Enjoy the festivities a little longer and plan for a more toned body later this winter.

LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Fun may not be all that it is cracked up to be. Invitations get lost in the mail, you could wind up at the wrong place on the wrong night or arrive dressed to the nines for a party where one or two will do. Proud Libras can also over-extend, over-party and generally over-do. This is not a bad thing, but it may make you pine for a quiet night or two at home. I should be so lucky.

SCORPIO (10.24-11.22)
Any major home repair should be deferred until you are absolutely sure that your instructions will be followed and the quality of work will be maintained. Not only could things go awry, you may not like the results. Queer Scorps might consider simply enjoying what they already have and relax in their current state of being. Ha!

SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) Even in the best of times, gay Archers have trouble making themselves clearly understood. This is because they are usually 10 steps ahead of everyone else. Now your capacity for audacity and overall miscommunication is ramped up and magnified. This is not a good time to tell it like it is. If you can’t think of something nice to say, file it for later use and just smile.

© 2008 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment.
info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com for e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.