Dearest Trinity,
I’m 27, male, straight and have fetishes for woman’s panties. My girlfriend lets me wear hers and I also own other woman’s panties I call “mystery panties” because I don’t know who they belonged to. How can I get my girlfriend to let me wear my mystery panties and not just hers?
Hide The Panties, Brooklyn, NY

Dearest Hide The Panties,
Sleeping with, flirting with and/or wearing other women’s panties equals three things, being disrespectful, unfaithful and cheating. Once you’re dating someone it’s time to hide the porn, the pictures of your exes and the “mystery panties”. Yes, wear them a) only if they’re clean; b) only remind you of womanhood; and c) don’t make you desire other women, then maybe gently hint about the mystery panties. But, why not keep it quiet? Honey, would you want her wearing other men’s underwear and getting all excited about it?

Hello Trinity,
Relationships are so much work. Does it ever get easy?
The Work Schedule, Vancouver, BC

Hello Work Schedule,
Relationships should get easier, but it’s always a balancing act that tortures, I mean teaches you about life and yourself. So stick with it and, pumpkin, as time passes and your relationship is more about companionship, mutual respect and self-respect then, yes, it will get easier, sort of. (My cartoon is always a sure hint on how I deal with it!)

Dear Trinity,
I caught my girlfriend cheating. Is it me?
Why Me, Key West, FL

Dear Why Me,
Someone cheats not because of you, but because of something emotional or hereditary within themselves. In a Zen tale, “A frog needs to cross a lake and a scorpion says, “I’ll take you and won’t sting you.” The frog replies, “promise” and the scorpion says, “yes.” So the frog gets on his back. Halfway across the scorpion stings the frog. And, when the frog asks, “Why’d you do it, you promised?” the scorpion replies, “It’s my nature!” And, darling, there lies the truest reason why someone cheats.

Hey Trinity,
I started chatting online and met many different people. I’d like to meet some future dates, but I need advice.
Internet Explorer, Santa Monica, CA

Hey Explorer,
The internet can be addictive, expensive, time consuming and
dangerous. So, baby, be careful, lighthearted and read:

Trinity’s Smart Tips For What To Look For In The First 10 Emails With A New (CP) Chatting Partner
1. If you don’t read “LOL” (laugh out loud) at least three times by the 10th email, then your CP may be a bore, a brain or a mortician.
2. If your CP writes with a righteous, serious or know-it-all tone, then get ready to chat with The Christian Right who are never wrong.
3. If your CP writes, “I hate…, I’m totally over” or “I hope you’re not that (or this stereo) type,” prepare to meet Mister or Miss Miserable.
4. If your CP only posts nude pictures, he or she may only want a bang with you or you’re whole gang.
5. If you see misspelled or incomprehensible phrases like, “Wil yu pley wit me,” then prepare to meet a young or unintelligent and /or non-English speaking CP!
6. If your CP only writes short messages once in a while, then prepare to meet the workaholic or the partier.
7. If your CP writes long messages every day, then prepare to meet the computer geek or the unemployed.
8. If your CP writes, “I’m on anti-depressants and have low self-esteem,” then get a psychology degree before meeting this person.
9. If your CP talks about genital size, sexual desires and/or rendezvous locations, then you may not be chatting with the Virgin Mary/Manny.
10. Lastly, if you’re denied headshots, an email address, a cellphone number or relevant information, then this CP may be ugly in “the closet” or even (more common) married. : :

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.

info: .
Tell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307
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800-637-8696 .

This article appears in the March 20-April 2 print edition.