“Hey y’all!” as one of my favorites, Paula Deen, would greet her folks. And, welcome back to my little neck of the woods — here since the fall of 1996! Oh my goodness, that’s a lot of drag and pageants. This time, I will talk about the three main pageants that I mentioned going to in the last Rag and, also, start off with a show that I failed to mention.

Several weeks ago, a few impersonators did what I hear was a great show of illusions down at a theater in Myrtle Beach. Then they ended up at the fabulous Rainbow House. Those ladies of the stage included Miss Gay America Coti Collins (whom I believe organized it all), Kirby Kolby, Gigi Monroe, the highly decorated Denise Russell and the ever-famous Barbra impersonator (and longtime Coti friend) Viki Williams. I know they put on one more classy show.

And, speaking of Coti, it’s only fitting that I next mention her first three prelims to Miss Gay America. The first was Mid-America, where Symphony Love Alexander took the crown, with Jade Sinclair being 1st runner-up. Secondly, an old school queen with unfinished business won Miss Gay DC. Congrats are going out to Raleigh’s Kirby Kolby who swept every category. Her RU was Patti Lovelace. The third was Miss MidEast here at Scorpio. It was a great contest. A past Top 5 finalist at the national contest, Chantel Reshae, won and her RU was Lindsay Starr, who really put on a good show and, although I missed her in Gown and Onstage Response, I hear she really made quite the impression. Congrats to Jessica Jade who relinquished the title that night and really served up the costumes. There were several formers and guest entertainers in the house, but the one who really surprised me was Champagne Douglas who’s still got it after all these years.

One celebrity who gets much attention and accolades from queens these days would naturally be Lady Gaga and just recently she made appearances at two gay clubs. She actually performed with Miss EOY Vanessa DeMornay at the Connection in Louisville and she popped into the Round Up in Dallas after a concert out there.

Congrats are going out to Dy’Mond Cartier who won the most recent Miss NC U.S.ofA. in Greensboro at Warehouse 29. It was my pleasure to make the trip with our Miss NC America Emery Starr, where I got to catch up with old friends like Jessica O’Brien, Monica Marlo, Natalie Smalls, Tiffany Bonet and Victoria Parker. Also on-hand were Tia Chanella, Neely O’Hara, Paisley Parque, Gabrielle Berlyn, Crystal Froste, Ebbony Addams, Brooke Divine LaReese, Shae Shae LaReese, Arabia Knight-Addams, Amaya, Olive Oyl, Miss NC Unlimited Cheetah Shaw and her king Taylor Knight-Addams and the list goes on and on. I did get to see bar owner Kent and met a precious new bartender they have there named Jose Antonio. Dy’Mond’s first RU was Charlotte’s own London Dior who wore a gown that would scratch the eyeballs out of your head, baby! Second RU was Orlando Chanel.

I have just unpacked my bags from a trip to Miami, FL to judge the Carolinas Continental pageants. Owner Alyson Thomas lives there now and timing wasn’t such that she could get away, so she had it there in her club this time. No residency rules apply anyway, so that’s why it was held there and the title still stuck. That easy. And, boy did Alyson ever treat us like royalty — from the accommodations to the VIP treatment at the bar on the Saturday night before. Imagine Macy Alexander’s face when she walked into Dash on Washington and met an idol face to face, Miss Khloe Kardashian! They chatted for a few minutes before Khloe had to run out. Needless to say, Macy is still on Cloud Nine. Macy’s good sister Leslie Lain is still glowing, I suppose, from all the trade she pulled while there. Bitter, party of one! As for the contest, there were many entertainers, including all four national Continental titleholders, plus a few formers, like Chanel Dupree and Erika Norell. Also, some of Alyson’s former winners, too. The title winners that evening include Mr. Carolinas Continental Kyle Ean Haggerty, Miss PLUS Tianna Love, Miss Elite Cierra Douglas, Miss SC Continental Alexis Gabrielle Sherrington and NC Continental Athena Dion, a new child who did really well, including turning Talent completely out. This “little Greek kid” (as I call her), who was a military brat and actually lived in Ft. Bragg for two years, got a standing ovation. Next in line was another new child, Evelyn Monroe, who had on probably the prettiest updo I think I’ve ever seen. Many, many thanks to the co-hostess Vegas Dion for all the hospitality and to Alyson for treatment fit literally for a queen. Diskotekka in Miami is one happenin’ place! Wow!

I’ll close with prelims leading up to NC EOY, which Angelica Dust will relinquish in just weeks. Miss Flower Power is Trixie Fontaine with RU Macaria Rage; Miss Forsyth County is Neely O’Hara with RU Malayia Chanel Iman; Miss Land in the Sky is Brinna Michaels with RU Manhattan; and Miss Piedmont Princess is Vivica Dupree with Paradise Dust as alternate. I have the distinct pleasure of mentioning that Olive Oyl, the Grande Dame of the Triad, was named Miss Bat$h!# Emeritus. And, yes, they really are spelling it that way — you’ll see on the posters. Lord, only Olivia Vorhees Oyl would consent to such.

A final note — A.J., I am not going out in drag anytime soon, nor will I be asking for a booking of all things, so here is your one-time mention! Muah! : :

info: Drop me a line, OK? TheTeaMissD@yahoo.com