Living in the South, you might be wondering if there are options for LGBTQ+ affirming elder care. Working with people age 55+ and caregivers who support them, I always keep in mind elder care assistance that embraces our community. My scope as a gerontologist, or aging expert, is what helps me to really understand the elder care choices that are going to be great for the people I work with. Sometimes you’re able to see obvious signs, such as symbols on marketing material. Other times you have to really know what questions to ask and what to look for.
It’s important to point out that you don’t have to live in higher end long-term care communities to get this affirming care. With that being said, there are definitely communities out there that provide such care, such as Matthews Glen in Matthews, North Carolina. Not only is Matthews Glen listed as an LGBTQ+ friendly designation on their Google business profile, but they have also invited PFLAG Charlotte to speak about allyship for our community. I was part of the panel discussion for this. Matthews Glen has apartments, assisted living and skilled nursing care. In addition to communities like this, there are programs like PACE (Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly), adult day centers, family care homes and home health services.
There are two things to think about when we consider affordable alternatives. Some of these are ideal for people who have Medicaid; some of these options are ideal for people who make too much money to qualify for Medicaid assistance but don’t make enough money to pay for care out-of-pocket.
PACE programs are located throughout the United States and are great for people who have Medicaid. They accept Medicaid and Medicare insurance and act as an entire care team. Their mission is to really try to help people aged 55+ who need a nursing-home level of care so that they might remain living in their own homes. In Charlotte, North Carolina, the Senior TLC PACE program, part of my LGBTQ+ aging networking group, has been willing to invest in our LGBTQ+ aging events. The program has also reached out about training their staff on LGBTQ+ community affirmation.
Adult day centers and adult day healthcare centers are some of the most affordable selections for people who don’t qualify for Medicaid and can’t pay out-of-pocket to cover elder care expenses. Both assisted living communities and family care homes may have Medicaid acceptance plans. There are also home health services that accept Medicaid. Forget Me Not Consulting is a Charlotte area LGBTQ+-affirming home health and transportation service. The Founder, Lelia Azali, is a former caregiver and has shown public support for the LGBTQ+ community. We are living in a time where some will quietly support our community, but public support like this is becoming rare.
While these are all great plans, we also need to talk about what questions you should be asking in case you need to consider other options. One thing to keep in mind is that just because the staff is trained in LGBTQ+-affirming care does not mean the residents or other clients have to be affirming toward our community. One thing I loved about an assisted living community I once worked for: they had a small private dining room you could use in addition to the community dining room. Something like a small private dining room can be a great place for same-sex couples to do something as simple as hold hands during a meal without having to protect themselves from judgment.
You’ll want to ask questions about celebrating Pride month and preferred pronouns. The reason why? Over the years, I’ve noticed how company representatives will use a blanket statement such as “we accept everybody,” but when I question them further, some individuals have publicly stated they “don’t agree with the lifestyle” and maintain religious views against it.
You can also look for elder care companies that have been trained and credentialed through SAGECare to show that they have taken training specifically to be affirming to the older LGBTQ+ community. For example, my elder care management business AgeWell Advocacy is credentialed through SAGECare. Centralina Area Agency on Aging also offered a program in the Charlotte region that gave free training to nursing homes on LGBTQ+ affirming care. I say this so that you know you can also ask if they’ve taken this training. Don’t be afraid to ask.
LGBTQ+ affirming elder care may not always be obvious to see, but these examples and things to look for can help you better understand where LGBTQ elders will be welcomed. I’m always happy to support people aged 55+ and their caregivers who are LGBTQ+ or allied. Since I work remotely, I’m able to support people throughout the United States.
Gerontologist Travis Friot is the brains behind Age Well Advocacy. To learn more, visit the website at https://www.agewelladvocacy.com/.
This story is brought to you by Rosedale Health and Wellness and Dudley’s Place.
