Hey Trinity,
You write a lot about dating. In the game of dating how does one become a pro?
Dating Games, Miami Beach, Fla.

Hey Dating Games,
In sports, athletes study the rules and practice different plays until they eventually get it right and turn pro. With dating, and also with life, the game is no different. Continual trial and error promises you’ll eventually become a pro at dating and meet your mate or many mates (keeping them is another game.) The best way to date or play sports or live life is to practice a lot, follow your instincts, have good self-esteem, ask lots of questions, don’t foul too much. Pumpkin, never, ever give up!

Dear Trinity,
My friends say, “Be careful of internet dating!” Is it really that dangerous?
Cyber Stumped, Rehobeth Beach, Del.

Dear Cyber Stumped,
Fact: Talking to someone online does not give you a true understanding of who they are.
Fact: People will do anything for love!
Fact: Graphic capabilities are so advanced today that even Mr. Potatohead could make himself look like a porn star.
And, baby, Fact: Everyone makes up stories, tries to be liked, stretches the truth and some even enjoy hurting others. Need I say more? (My cartoon is sure a tell-all on the subject.)

Dearest Trinity,
I’m married and dating someone on the side. I know it is wrong, but my marriage is not working out for many reasons. What should I do?
Extra Marital, Wichita, Kansas

Dearest Extra Marital,
What should you do? How about what should you not do? How about not using someone else to get you out of a failing marriage? How about not ruining someone else’s life with your seductive, needy, puppy dog eyes? How about first getting divorced, separated, moving out or starting a threesome relationship? How about couples counseling for you and your primary partner? And, darling, how about a dry martini for me and your spouse and your lover.

Dearest Trinity,
No one expects anyone to wait until they’re married to have sex or to keep their virginity anymore. Why should I wait or keep my virginity?
ViginiDoubts, Portland, Maine

Dearest ViginiDoubts,
Now I know I have some good reasons somewhere. Ah they are!

Trinity’s Wholesome Reasons For Keeping Your Virginity
1. Being a virgin doesn’t make you better, but it absolutely does make your body and soul that much more worth fighting for.
2. The more sex and sexual partners you have the older you will get and the older you will look. Isn’t that enough of a reason to keep it, honey?
3. When you keep your virginity, you keep your youth, your innocence, your beauty and your magic.
4. Sex is not a race, it’s a gift, which means don’t give it away so fast or let that first special someone have it so easily.
5. After you’ve given away your most precious and natural gift, there’s no guarantee the receiver of your gift will appreciate it for very long, especially without a contract.
6. You have your whole life to have as much intimacy with as many partners as you like, but you don’t have your whole life to be a virgin!
7. The most treasured thing you can give someone you love is your virginity and a new credit card. (Just kidding about the credit card…sort of!)
8. The risk of pregnancy, being used up before your time and/or having nothing to bargain with are also something to think about.
9. Just because everyone is having sex on TV, the internet and in the movies doesn’t mean you have to. Be different!
10. Lastly, it’s a new world with new diseases and new drugs to spend the rest of your life on. So, why treat sex with such importance? Duh!

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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