Dear Trinity,
You often refer to gay men and homosexual men as if they were different. What’s the difference?
Technically Confused : St. Louis, MO

Dear Confused,
When a man lies with or lies about sleeping with another man, then goes home to his wife, mother or closet to represses his sexuality, he’s a “homosexual.” But, when he finally smells the latte, accepts himself with pride and lives openly with his homosexuality then he’s “gay.” Pumpkin, some homosexual men don’t realize their divine “gay” sexuality until late in life because they’re trapped inside the morals of heterosexuality. But, there are over 400 homosexual animal species (check YouTube) and only one gets to be fabulous — humans! Isn’t life wonderful!

Dear Trinity,
I’m gay with a healthy dating life. I try not to have sex before the first few dates, but no matter what, inevitably gay men don’t want companionship or relationship, just sex. Are all men rogues or is it just a gay thing?
Gay Rogues : Eugene, OR

Dear Gay Rogues,
Yes, gay men love sex. Some even “live” for it. But, it’s that way with all monsters, I mean men. Straight women don’t let their men get away with it as much as gay men. But, honey, keep being you, keep holding out and keep getting back on the horse when you fail. Oh, and try to accept men for what they are…oink, oink! (My cartoon sure tells it like it is!)

Hello Trinity,
I was dating a great guy who didn’t tell me he had a partner “for 10 years.” Even though his partner lets him have affairs, since I found out I haven’t talked to him in months. But, he keeps emailing me. What should I do or not do?
Married Date : Toronto, Canada

Hello Married Date,
Just when you think you’ve found “the one,” you suddenly discover “the spouse!” It happens to me all the time. It seems that all the really good single men are also really married. Sweetie, if you’re up for it, email him back and send him a “last good-bye” because you’ve vowed to have “No More Drama In My Life!” And after that, go and find your own unmarried partner.

Hey Trinity,
I thought I knew good from bad and sane from insane. But recently, I met this gorgeous girl who says the most insecure, weird things. She’s very confusing. How can I know when I’m dating someone crazy or when it is just me?
Date Crazy : Charleston, SC

Hey Date Crazy,
Isn’t life just one big psych ward! As soon as you think you’ve figured it all out… you haven’t. After interviewing many professional daters and asking them how they detect “crazy” here are:

Trinity’s Sane Tips For Knowing When You’re DSC (Dating Someone Crazy)
1. When someone is overly, unimaginably, inhumanly picky — DSC.
2. When you say, “Look at that nice tree.” and she says, “Honey, do you think I’m blind?” —DSC
3. When sudden change in plans turns a rational Dr. Jekyll into an outraged Mr. or Miss Hyde — DSC.
4. When you say, “Want some more coffee?” and he says, “Honey, if I wanted more coffee I’d ask!” — DSC.
5. When you yourself begin to think that your own sense of judgment and reality has become distorted, irrational and crazy — DSC.
6. When he constantly gets upset over the simplest of things. — DSC.
7. When she constantly questions your actions i.e., “Why are you talking to me” or “taking me to dark restaurants?” — DSC.
8. When a night on the town means six hours in a nightclub, high on drugs — DSC.
9. When you say, “I’d love to meet for dinner,” and he (seriously) says, “What’s wrong with lunch?” — DSC.
10. Lastly, when you say, “I’m running late (for the first time in months)” and she replies, “Why must you always torture me?” — DSC.

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.

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This article was published in the Jan. 23 — Feb. 5 print edition.