Hello Trinity,
After not doing anything spiritual for years, I feel like it’s time to start doing something spiritual and find some sort of personal path to follow. Any suggestions?
On A Path, Milwaukee, WI

Hello On A Path,
If you’re alive and living, then you’re on a spiritual path. As for finding a stronger connection to that path, here’s three hints from what the Buddhists call, “Being Mindful” — 1) Notice the beauty in all things, especially things you can’t find beauty in; 2) Acknowledge that what seems bad now will inevitably seem good; 3) Have faith in your intuition, your gut and your sixth sense. Also, darling, think rituals, i.e., lighting a special candle, making a group meal, having a special place you visit regularly, etc. Do something spiritual and something spiritual will happen.

Dear Trinity,
After knowing about each other for three years and now dating and living together for six months, my girlfriend and I want to have a wedding ceremony. But, some of our friends and family say wait a while. Trinity, when is “a while” long enough?
Goin’ to the Chapel, Washington, DC

Dear Goin’ to the Chapel,
This is one of the world’s greatest, unanswerable questions. Commitment in one day, one week, two months, six months, one year? Pumpkin, living together, facing regular problems and letting time teach you both about each other is a ceremony in itself. In the end, I would save your wedding for at least your year anniversary. This way you get to save money for it. Remember, sweetie, slow and steady wins the race. (Besides, you may want to take a clue from my cartoon on marriage.)

Dearest Trinity,
I’m a single, 30-year-old youthful dresser. But, my friends say I dress more immature than youthful and I won’t get a serious date with the way I dress. What should a 30-something person wear?
Thirty Or Thirteen, Spokane, WA

Dearest Thirty Or Thirteen,
I’d like to say, what do your friends know, but if they’re your friends then they may know something about you. Thus, get rid of those oversized grunge pants, Eminem T-shirts and toss your platform sneakers. Being 30 and single may mean accepting your maturity and being comfortable with it. It may also mean dressing comfortably, being less interested in fitting in and more interested in having your clothes fit well. So, honey, be yourself, but shop somewhere else!

Hey Trinity,
It seems like every time I go out some sloppy, uncontrollable drunk hits me on. I don’t mind drinkers. I drink. But, when they get pushy and drooly, I get upset. Help!
Pushy/Drooly Troubles, Amarillo, TX

Hey Pushy/Drooly Troubles,
When I go out for a drink, not that I go out for a drink that much, I mean not that I sleep around that much, I mean, oh God, I wish I was married already. But, until then, pumpkin, here are…

Trinity’s Witty Tips For What To Say To A Pushy/Aggressive Drunk
1. “Repeat after me. I’m too drunk to pick up anyone!”
2. “Do you know you’ve told me that exact same story four times!”
3. “By the time my husband, the pro-wrestler, returns, you better be gone!”
4. “I must bring you into the bathroom mirror so you can see just how drunk you look.”
5. “You’ve got blood coming out of your nose. I’m sorry, I’ve got to go!”
6. “Repeat after me five times, I’m a dirty, drunken fool who needs to go home.”
7. “Honey, a) Stop spitting on me and b) pour your drinks on someone else. I’m leaving!”
8. “Sloppy, Drunk, Dopey and Disgusting are the only dwarfs you’ll be taking home tonight.”
9. “Please pick yourself up off the floor. Wipe the barf off of your face and go away!”
10. And, lastly, when all else fails, try this line, “Get lost, Buddy!” : :

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.

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