Oh, y’all, this is so bad. Miss Della is falling behind on her work of rounding up the tea. I guess it’s high time the ol’ bitch comes into the new decade and opens up a Facebook account or something. It seems it’s the only way to communicate anymore, but I just don’t know. I sit here owing my editor a story on two NC girls, one current and one from the past, who are making waves and are in the headlines, but have not gotten in touch with either one because I’m not partaking of the social networking tools of today.

As many of you know, my dear friend Michelle Dupree (former Miss Continental) recently gave up her title of Miss’d America in Atlantic City and crowned a queen by the name of Kitty Hiccups. Kitty used to live here in the Tarheel State. When I asked Michelle for a connection, she says “Jesus Christmas, Maria — you of all people not on Facebook! This I cannot believe. Get off the phone and get thee to it immediately.” I still resist to this day. And, it’s getting me in trouble.

Stacey Layne Matthews is another. She’s the big, sweet girl from Back Swamp, NC on this third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Back Swamp is down past Maxton and Lumpton (Lumberton for y’all big city folks). I understand she works at Alias in Fayetteville, but know nothing else about her. Of course, that could only mean she hasn’t done much on the pageantry scene either on the state level, but still! Although she’s Two Tons of Fun, as well as myself, I think she’s good for the show and has been cute so far. I watched the first episode with Starla DaVinci and Brandi Andrews after not watching a single episode last season.

I’ll admit I only tuned in because I’d met and judged Alexis Mateo before in Orlando and wanted to see her; she does not disapoint, either — face always stamped as usual and hair whooped. There are some other good queens on there as well — one whom I hope to see do very well is Delta Work! Big girl gives you figure!

One NC girl who was also in L.A. for the premier party was our own Victoria Parker of Raleigh. She was able to meet Taylor Dayne (how fitting since she used to do her version of “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love” on a regular!), the gorgeous Vanessa Williams and current contestant Raja’s good friend Adam Lambert. I think the acting bug has bitten the Pig — she filmed an audition for another show while out there and now has her own IMDb page.

The pageant tea is at a minimum this time — it’s quite an indulgent column, actually. I’ve been wined and dined by everyone (still late birthday and holiday stuff!) and since it was drag-related somewhat, I have to give a shout-out to my kids, of course! One thing I did forget that I always mentioned in the past was Jason’s and Macy Alexander’s Christmas party! There is always a gaggle of fags there, but it’s a way for these two to treat their friends at the end of the year. Sorry for the overlook, y’all! And now I’m headed to the beach with Macy as she works at Time Out and I go to the Rainbow House for the benefit they’re doing for my sponsored kid in Honduras. That should be a blast, hanging out with that crazy Jessica Raye! Other treats I mentioned earlier include dinner with London Dior and her partner Charlie; brunch and mani/pedis with Carmendy and lunch with Tiffany Storm, Tara Storm and Betty Boop the day after Miss Scorpio.

Oh, yeah — the Miss Scorpio pageant! Now, that was a good’un! It’s been a hott minute, in my opinion, since you just didn’t know what the judges were feeling regarding a winner. There were a lot of good girls this go ‘round. So many formers, too. Dana and Kirby came down and Amber, Dorae and Beverly were there. And, let’s not forget Kerri or Big Mama B or our Miss NC America Emery Starr who was giving it up. I love that child! She crowned Raleigh’s “Ivy, Ivy Whiiiiiiite.” Her runners-up included Shae Shae LaReese, Jessica Raynes Starr and Angela Lopez. Big Shirli Stevenz, who was painted for filth, received the Victoria Sinclair Pride in Community award. Oh, those eyes, Shirli! Miss World National Brooke Divine LaReese was in the crowd to watch Mama Shae Shae compete — she’d just gotten back from Kansas City where she worked at Missy B’s and Sidekicks and loved it! She told me they treated her like royalty. I expected no less from the fine folks of the Show-Me-State!

Also, recently held at Scorpio was the Newest Entertainer of the Year contest and I was privileged to be on-hand to judge on my 15th anniversary of winning the contest myself. D’zzire and her gang of dancers stormed the building and won. My Reggie took 1st RU singing (although that’s not his stage name — please forgive me, Boo!) Thanks to Tiffany Storm for the flawless introduction to the crowd! : :

info: Drop me a line, OK? TheTeaMissD@yahoo.com