My sexual appetite has been crazy lately. Is it so wrong to sleep with whomever I want? And, what’s a healthy sex life anyway?
Yours & Everyone’s, Chicago, IL
Hey Yours & Everyone’s,
The difference between a healthy sex life and a hedonistic one usually happens around the full moon where even monks and nuns have to loosen their collars. Promiscuity is not a new word. but it does get old. Sure, sex is grand, but the unreturned phone calls, texts, emails and/or late nights on the internet, in the streets or at the bars, plus constantly ducking social diseases, eventually turns quality to quantity and possible addiction. So, honey, for a healthier sex life remember, moderation, patience and a bit of abstinence now and then will keep you fresh from turning overly ripe.
I’ve been married five years and love my partner, but I’ve had a couple of affairs on the side. I’m not proud, but it happened. I’ve been keeping a diary and don’t want him to see it. Where’s a good place to hide it?
Diary Troubles, New York, NY
Dearest Diary Troubles,
As for extramarital affairs, you know it’s wrong and I know it happens, so now listen up, sweetie! Walk that diary to the furthest garbage can, in the furthest state and burn it. And, never write your wrongs in a diary again unless, of course, you secretly want to get caught. Everyone who keeps a diary eventually gets caught, period.
I’m single and want a relationship, yet my friend who has a boyfriend always talks about being single. Can we ever win?
Me And/Or We, Phoenix, AZ
Hello Me And/Or We,
Some people live alone and hate it, while others live as a couple and hate it too. But, pumpkin, the best attitude for dealing with any situation is, a) accept what you don’t have; b) enjoy what you do have; and, c) work hard for what you want. Oh, and, d) fantasize, fantasize, fantasize! (Let me show you how to work this out in my cartoon.)
My ex and I moved into an apartment together, but broke up soon after. Now we have to live together for a while. But, we fight all the time. I need help in the communication department, especially with this one!
Trapped In Ex-Hell, Miami, FL
I know adventure is the key to heaven’s gate and you’ll never get in by always doing the right thing, babe, but did you have to move in so quickly? Anyway, for now read:
Trinity’s Smart Tips For Learning Good Communication Skills
1. Learn to let it out. Express yourself while being clear, to the point, patient and strong.
2. Learn to talk neutrally. Speak in such a way that no one is right or wrong, but rather “this is one possible way” of seeing it.
3. Learn to find the right moment. A safe, calm and gentle timeslot to sit down and yell, I mean talk, is always best.
4. Learn to bite your tongue. Not always saying what you feel at the exact time you feel it is a holy task.
5. Learn to walk away. You don’t always have to have the last word or always win, enough said!
6. Learn to ask for outside advice. Make time to talk to neutral friends, relatives or professionals.
7. Learn to give it a rest. Create fun, upbeat moments together where you don’t talk about what bothers you.
8. Learn not to bring up past problems that have already been put to sleep. Everything, eventually, deserves to rest-in-peace.
9. Learn to use humor and wit, “I love you best when…” — “I feel like eating the dog when…” — and so on.
10. Lastly, learn to touch, hug or kiss someone you are mad at even when you don’t feel like it. Touching is healing
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
This article was published in the Jan. 9 – Jan. 22 print edition.