Ah, my dear readers, we come together again and celebrate all that is good (and sometimes not so good) in the world of drag pageantry. I’ve got so much damn information, there’s no time for idle chit-chatter!

I’ll start off and tell you how happy I am that the Continental system is doing a great job on their website these days, updating it with prelim tea and such. Of course, just a week or so after this comes out, they will hold Miss Elite and PLUS in Chicago and if you know me, you know I am hoping that my baby Kelly Raye, the reigning Miss Heart and Soul Elite, will squat and become the new Miss Continental Elite. I am trusting and believing that she will “go right” and remove all doubt with those judges. She would be such an excellent representative for them, and she’s such a fantastic person. I hope her cheering crowd will be there from NC and Hawaii. Kelly, you know I am with you in spirit! I was almost brought to tears when my baby sis Brooke Divine told me about the sponsorship she gave Kelly to make the win a little easier.

Kelly will compete against such lovely impersonators as Miss Carolina Elite Joanna James, Illusion (held in San Antonio) Dina Jacobs (another queen with Hawaii ties), Illinois, Dominique Mahon and Chicago, Cee Cee LaRouge. Also that weekend, as Tanisha Cassadine gives up her PLUS title/crown, there will be such fabulous illusionists competing like Miss Florida Icon Jasmine Pierce; Illusions, Layne Matthews; Illinois, Savannah San’Teigo with alternate Terri DaMoore; Virginia, Sandra Lopez (there will be good hair and make-up in the house on this night!); Chicago, Milena Lane Kier; NC, Ginger Minj; and SC, India Chanel Braxton.

Later on in the year, for the Labor Day ex-dragga-ganza (my term, don’t try it!), we’ll see Miss NC Continental Victoria Grantly compete, along with Miss SC Stasha Sanchez and her alternate Fontasia L’Amour. They will be preceded in competition by their guy counterparts, Mr. NC Khalil Valentino and Mr. SC Jose Vega. Damn, it sounds like Miss Alyson Thomas had one more bloodbath at Club Mekka in Miami this go ‘round!

In other pageantry news, on the U.S.ofA. at Large scene, our national titleholder Miss Dorae Saunders has been to one more prelim, Miss Louisiana, which The Lady PhatKat won and her alternate was Starr Alexander. For the U.S.ofA. division, we have qualifiers ready to compete in Dallas over Memorial Day weekend, like Miss Iowa Chanel Savage and alternate Chanel Cavalier Van Cartier; Pennsylvania, Tiffany Richards and alternate Jolie Starr; Tri-States, Alexyeus Paris; Lonestar, Loretta Armani and runner-up Armani Davenport; Oklahoma, Bebe Adams and RU Londenn Raine; and Miss South Central Shae Shae LaReese with RUs Sunny Dee Lite and Sasha Andrews. Say what? I guess Miss Shae Shae had really showed out on that night. All right, sis! Also, the newest Miss NC is Macaria Rage and her RU is Aida (maybe Ieeta?) Addams. Congrats to Jamie Monroe on her relinquishing the crown! Diva!

Where the Classic prelims are concerned, my good sister Miss Layla LaRue is in and out of the airports these days, reigning elegantly over prelims like Miss Pennsylvania, which Victoria Lace won with RU Morgan Wells; Lonestar, Edna Jean Robinson and RU Sybil Ann Storm; Arkansas, Adrian Keriocus and RU Lisa Laws; Arizona, Marina Del Ray and RU Lady Ashley; South Central, the lovely Denise Mykels and equally gorgeous Amy DeMilo; Kansas, TeeKee LaRue with runners-up Mackenzie Carmichael and Brittney Brooks; and Oklahoma, former EOY Roxie Hart with RUs Martinique Bouvier and Shantel Mandalay. Miss Layla, if Edna Jean is competing, I wanna judge! I’d like to see that talent, damn!

Finally, just a few qualifiers for the Miss Newcomer U.S.ofA. contest: Arizona, Adriana Galliano with RU Malina Rae; South Central States, Vivica Perry and RU Kai Lee Mykels; and Kansas, Aria Crawford with runners-up Eartha Quake and Ginger Rose Carmichael.

I’ll close with a few local tidbits. Miss Charlotte America was held a few weeks ago at Scorpio and I must tell you how proud I was of our Miss NC Ariel Knight-Addams. Even with a cast on her foot, she exuded class and sophistication and embodied our local “Symbol of Excellence.” I hear she may be planning a trip back to Miss Gay America in the near future. I certainly wish her the best. That night, the Mouth of The South and one of the original good time girls Valarie Rockwell won and her RU was Brittney O’Bryan. I am thrilled for Valarie who has come a long way in just a few short years and has really come into her own. To my knowledge, no one has held the Miss Scorpio and Miss Charlotte titles at the same time since Renee Rollins back in 1993. Way to go, girlfriend! I still say that Honey Boo Boo presentation at Miss Scorpio was a riot! Call your Aunt Ree, gal — she wants to congratulate you!

In closing, I dedicate this column to Ashley Alexander, a sweet queen from Hickory, NC who performed and judged back in the day and competed at Miss Gay America. She won Miss East Coast America at Scorpio years ago and did “Baby, I Can Cook” complete with a diner counter on stage. It was fabulous! I will miss this queen — she was a “good egg” as the old saying goes. : :

(l-r) Tracy Morgan, Tiffany Bonet, Ashley Alexander, and Kerri Nichols.

info: Drop me a line, OK? TheTeaMissD@yahoo.com