Dear Trinity,
There’s no such thing as an open relationship. A relationship is a “contract,” a “commitment,” and if that contract is broken, there’s no relationship. So, if my partner came home after screwing around on me, then said, “I love you,” I’d ram a pipe up their backside!
Commitment or Pipe, Kansas City, MO

Dear Commitment or Pipe,
Did you know, some people have “closed” committed relationships like what you’re describing, while others have open committed relationships, which includes sex outside the relationship, and that, believe it or not works great for them? Talking to many folks in long, long-term relationships has exposed me to many ideas about relationships, opening my (closed) eyes. If you have an agreement to be monogamous, then you don’t have an open relationship, period. But, honey, if your partner one day does “cheat,” then hopefully you’ll love them enough to deal with it “openly.” Agreements change throughout a relationship and throughout time whether you pipe it… I mean, like it or not!
Love, Trinity

Hello Trinity,
My boyfriend loves me but wants me to be things I’m not, like playing or watching lots of sports. I don’t enjoy them, but I do it for him. Lately, he keeps insisting that my pleasure of people watching or shopping at the mall is something he wants me to stop. Will I ever get to be me?
Sincerely, I Gotta Be Me, Dallas, TX

Hello I Gotta Be Me,
Sure you will. When one becomes two, there’s a little give and take, sometimes even a lot. Good for you for being flexible. And, pumpkin, if you start feeling disrespected or being disrespectful to your own needs, you and he may need to have a “lets’ compromise” pow-wow!
Yours, Trinity

Dearest Trinity,
I’m originally from America, but I’ve been living in Montreal, Canada for the past three years. The gay men here are tres gorgeous but are lacking personality, unlike men from the states. Help!
Montreal Men, Montreal, QC

Dearest Montreal Men,
Americans do have an open spirit that may lack amongst some beautiful and gay Quebecois. Why do you think the Webster Dictionary puts “looks” and “personality” 320 pages apart! But don’t be discouraged by what you’ve seen so far in the dating scene. Darling, keep meeting people, keep kissing cheeks and eventually you’ll find a Quebecois…with an American joie de vie.
Love, Trinity

Hey Trinity,
I’m dating a woman who drives like a maniac. How do I get her to drive normally when I’m in the car without sounding like a neurotic date?
Thanks, Driving Complaints, Cincinnati, OH

Hey Driving Complaints,
When some folks drive, they forget they’re on a date, and not at the Daytona 500. So sweetie, besides offering to drive (for the rest of your lives together) try sending her:

Trinity’s Cautious Tips for Driving With a Date

  1. NO tailgating. It’s guaranteed to scare your date! One car length for every 10 mph please!
  2. NO road raging. Having to listen to someone yelling, being aggressive AND driving is awful and unattractive!
  3. NO speeding. It always makes someone feel like they’ve been kidnapped!
  4. NO breaking the law. If you’re trying to impress a date, running lights and stop signs definitely won’t do it!
  5. NO talking on the cellphone. Not even your loving mother wants to watch you drive and chat. Plus, you’re on a date, so TURN OFF the cellphone!
  6. NO driving offensively. It makes your passengers fear for their lives!
  7. However, DO drive defensively. Let others make mistakes around you without having to reprimand them. A date is a time to act light, peaceful and forgiving!
  8. DO drive patiently, like you have Lady Gaga in the car.
  9. DO wear your seatbelt.
  10. And lastly, DO remember, a car is a weapon that can kill you and your date, who is just trying to get to know you… not trying to share a funeral with you! : :

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama, performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings. Sponsored by: WIG Ministries, www.wigministries.org Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Send e-mails to: Trinity@telltrinity.com

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