A resident of Southwest Charlotte, Melissa ‘Mel’ Morris currently serves as the Chair for Carolina’s LGBT+ Chamber of Commerce. She’s also a mother of two daughters and a grandmother to seven. A fierce advocate who has contributed her passion and skills to many worthy organizations (including serving as the ACLU’s Campaign Manager and founding Cabrini University’s Department of Diversity Initiatives) she regularly engages in the fight for equity for those in need.
Originally from Rochester, N.Y., Morris is also an author, speaker, and personal development trainer. During this interview, Morris shared with QNotes some of the joy she finds in the work she does and why a good cry shouldn’t be something we avoid.
L’Monique King: How long have you been living in Charlotte?
Melissa “Mel” Morris: My wife and I have been here for just over nine years now.
LMK: So, you’re married?
MM: Yes, we’ve been married for 14 years and together for 17 years. She’s great! In our wedding vows, that I wrote, I made her promise to keep me fed – and she has. She’s an amazing cook and the primary chef of the house. We’re both Cancers, so we’re big on taking care of people and nourishing people. Her specialty [of culinary arts] is definitely routed through the stomach.
LMK: What’s her best dish?
MM: Ribs. They are the best I have ever had, and anyone who has ever had them says the same.
LMK: What brought you to Charlotte?
MM: Vinnie, my wife, retired from the police department in Philadelphia. I didn’t love Philly, though I had family there and made amazing friends there. I wanted to move South, where she’s from. I wanted to come to the South but as a Black gay outspoken woman all of the South is not accessible. My understanding at the time was that Charlotte seemed to be very LGBT friendly, so we started looking here. When we came to visit Charlotte, it felt like home. I really enjoy Charlotte. Everything but the excessive heat. That’s the trade-off.
LMK: As a Northerner, how do you feel about the area’s political climate?
MM: It’s tough. When we moved here in 2015, I almost immediately joined the Carolina’s LGBT+ Chamber of Commerce. Then HB2 [legislation written to require that people use public restrooms corresponding with their assigned sex at birth; also including a host of other anti-LGBTQ components] happened and I was thrown right into the mix. So, I learned pretty quickly that though there may be a bubble of safety and support in Charlotte, the rest of North Carolina is much more challenging to navigate as an LGBT person.
LMK: What’s your journey been like at the Chamber?
MM: I started as a board member in 2016 and then transitioned to President. In 2017 a new President came and I left for a while. I had just gotten to town, settled in and was thrown into the frying pan of being President, dealing with HB2 and having reporters show up to my grandkids’ school to ask me questions. I needed a break; it was a lot. So I stepped away for a while. Then in 2023 I came back to the Chamber as Chair.
LMK: Considering your beginnings and all the stress, why return at all?
MM: [I was] asked … more times than I can remember. Our board is not a paid board, it’s a volunteer role for all of us on the board. So, coming back now when there isn’t the chaos, allowing me to focus on creating more substantial programming and training for the Chamber is gratifying. The Chamber has grown and expanded so much that creating those opportunities is a passion that can now be realized.
LMK: How do you make your livelihood?
MM: I’m a personal development trainer, a new author and the owner of This Is What’s Next, a personal development and training company – where I serve as owner and personal development trainer. We specialize in helping women and queer communities find their next step forward.
LMK: Among all the things that you do, author is just one of your many titles. What’s your book about?
MM: The book is “Learn, Love, Live, You!: Reclaiming Your Energies to Get Unstuck.” I had a soft launch at the beginning of July. The book itself literally fell out of me. It’s designed to help reshape your mindset and discover your personal power to take back control of your life. I want to give women especially, the personal power and the ability to be selfish and recognize that ‘selfish’ is not a bad word. As women, we don’t hear that enough and we’re certainly not encouraged to be that. The book comes with a workbook, which presented a challenge for me. It’s coil bound, spiral so you open the pages flat. For now it’s available through my website because Amazon isn’t currently capable of the kind of coil bound printing I needed.
LMK: With so much going on in your life, how do you manage or find down time?
MM: With age, strong wisdom sets in. I’ve learned to say no and have taught myself that I don’t have to say yes to everything. For me, down time is being at home. I’ve made a comfortable home with my wife and enjoy being at home with her in peace.
LMK: Let’s change topics. Just for fun, we’ll go for something a bit more light. Granola or Cap’n Crunch?
MM: Granola.
LMK: A walk on the beach or a stroll through a forest?
MM: Walk on the beach. If I could live in the ocean I would. I would just float around like a mermaid if I could.
LMK: Concert or a Movie?
MM: Concert. My best concert so far, this is going to sound a bit cheesy, but, Katy Perry was really good. My playlist is generally 80s and 90s music with a sprinkling of other things. I don’t listen to a lot of modern music. My first concert was Public Enemy. I was about 11 years old; my dad took me. I love music. It’s such a huge part of me. I wake up every morning with a song stuck in my head.
LMK: What makes you curse?
MM: Inconsiderate people. I believe in general kindness and consideration. When people take advantage or are just ugly for the sake of being ugly, bringing down the energy of others, it’s a problem for me.
LMK: When you think about the world today, what concerns you?
MM: Wow, lots of things. Right now, the biggest concern I have is our current Supreme Court. As a woman who has two daughters and four granddaughters, the fact that this Supreme Court has decided that women don’t know how to make their own personal choices is concerning. The fact that they would rather have a president with zero accountability as opposed to our three-pronged system of government is problematic.
LMK: You mentioned your concerns through the lens of being a mother of daughters who also have female children. That said, what’s your message to our youth community?
MM: Understand who you are, who you want to be and don’t worry about what everyone else is or pretends to be. It makes me so sad to see all these influencers who have nothing to offer but have all these kids looking at them thinking that’s what they want to be when so much of it isn’t real.
LMK: Share with our readers something many people might not know about you?
MM: One of my gifts is that I can see the best version of people, [often] long before they can. And, I cry every day – for a multitude of reasons and I’m not ashamed of that. Crying is a release of things that you have pent up, good, bad or otherwise. So, for me, allowing myself the freedom of that release is so cleansing. There’s a Food Lion commercial that gets me every time. It’s so beautiful, so those tears are about releasing that joy into the world. People who know me do know that I’m a crier, so I don’t know if that’s a secret but you can add that <laughter>.
LMK: What do you see yourself doing 10 years from now?
MM: Ya’ know, that’s tough. I really enjoy change and my life changes so much so frequently. Ten years from now, I’m living near the ocean, still hosting people, events and community – having the conversations they want to have. Talking to people, all day long, preferably by the ocean.
LMK: Any closing thoughts you’d like to leave our readers with?
MM: Focus on your passion. If you really want to be your authentic self, you have to allow yourself to follow those passions. I’ve done some really amazing things in my life and it’s all because I’ve always followed my passion. I went with it. It was intriguing and passionate and probably led me to something else; the jobs I’ve done, the work I’ve done.