Hello Trinity,
My boyfriend doesn’t appreciate me, so I’m trying to make him jealous. What are other ways to keep his attention?
Attention Please, Rehoboth Beach, Del.

Hello Attention Please,
Jealousy seems like a great way to build someone’s desire, yet it only reads well in the tabloids. In real life jealousy creates a dirtier desire and distrustful love. Jealousy, at best, is shifty and devious, creating all sorts of suspicion. And, if that’s not bad enough, jealousy makes one resentful, overprotective, doubtful and confused. Sweetie, to keep someone’s attention, try being attractive, upbeat, fun and without a lot of drama. Let me repeat, “without drama!”

Hey Trinity,
For almost four months now, I’ve sensed something is wrong with my relationship, but I can’t put my finger on it. Help?
Something Missing, Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.

Hey Something Missing,
When it comes to maintaining a relationship, it’s important to keep checking it like a car engine. While some might say, “leave it alone until it needs fixing” I say, “call a therapist or psychic,” but, pumpkin, call someone and keep at it until you figure out what’s wrong. (See what’s on my channel in the cartoon for more clues on the subject.)

Hello Trinity,
About a year ago I came out, slept around and partied hard at the local gay bars. Overall, I’ve given the impression to the local community that I’m a drunken slut, not the dating/boyfriend type. How do I repair my image?
Slut Repair, Madison, Wisc.

Hello Slut Repair,
Newly coming-out gay men are supposed to live, drink and slut around …except you weren’t supposed to do it locally. “Coming out” means “getting out” of your neighborhood for a while. But, hindsight is dirty/dirty. So, disappear from your local bar for a while and reappear with a new hairstyle, clothes and attitude, which includes sober-filled, sex-less nights. Honey, people think if you look different, you are and you will be. Also, show up at new times, sit in new places and talk to new people. If you transform your image then your dating dilemma should transform itself as well.

Hello Trinity,
The conservative religious community is constantly comparing the gay community to the Bible, which was also used to justify slavery and keep women repressed. Do you see any comparison between the religious and gay communities?
Comparing Notes, Cambridge, Mass.

Hello Comparing Notes,
Why doesn’t the conservative religious community stop raining on everybody’s parade? So many right-wing Christians, so few lions! If Jesus were alive today he’d fight for gay rights and maybe even be a fan of the almighty Barbra Streisand herself. That’s why I’ve made:

Trinity’s Religious Comparisons Between Barbra Streisand And Jesus
1. Both Jesus and Barbra are Jewish, able to speak Hebrew, politically outspoken and both sport long hair.
2. Jesus was from Nazareth and Barbra from Brooklyn. Both places are still rich in Jewish culture.
3. Jesus was well known as a wandering Jew who was nailed to a cross. Barbra is well known as a singing Jew with very long nails.
4. Barbra has a gay son, a new husband, a home in Malibu and Long Island. Jesus had no children, no wife and no real home. (Sorry!)
5. Without Jesus, Christians could not exist. Without Barbra, female impersonators could not exist.
6. When Barbra performs publicly she is smart enough to record it, Jesus only had someone taking notes.
7. Jesus is believed to be the Son of God, but Barbra actually sang with a gay goddess: Judy Garland.
8. Barbra’s husband looks a little like Jesus thus Mary might have looked a little like Barbra.
9. Neither Jesus nor Barbra had or is known to have had plastic surgery (yet)!
10. Lastly, both Barbra and Jesus have many followers and many things written about them, but only Barbra made a Christmas album!

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
Tell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307
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