Oh, kiddies, it’s that time again when we chit-chat about the girls of crowns and gowns. It’s hotter than a Central American soccer team outside — Lordy, mercy!

I’ll start this time with an oversight from the last Rag. I completely forgot to mention the results of the Miss Rainbow In (not Inn) pageant I judged at Lake Wylie. Y’all know I don’t drink (much) and certainly have never drugged, but I cannot explain my omission. Anyway, I judged with burlesque star Big Mama D and Big Shirli Stevenz. We had a nice night with Roxy C. Moorecox down there. London Dior won and her RU was Lita Fontaine (who won Talent). Sorry, ladies, for the faux pas.

A few weeks later, I joined London and her partner Charlie at the Hide-A-Way as they helped oversee a pageant I judged which is owned by their friend Cherish D’Men. It was called Miss Beautiful Southeast. A lovely Eureka O’Hara from Johnson City, TN won. Her RU was Jessica Raynes Starr. I also got a second chance to see a relative newcomer compete again by the name of Kylie DaVinci who shows a lot of promise as she is talented in my opinion. While down in Rock Thrill, I was able to visit with Doug McAlister, Makaylah DuShot, Carmendy, Jessica Jewel Addams, Miss Pride Charlotte Felicia Monet and a newly crowned Miss Charlotte America Starla DaVinci (who did a good job in the show). Starla’s RU was Aiesha Parris.

While on the subject of NC America prelims, I was able to attend Miss Winston-Salem America where Miss NC Detra Panucci sported new fashions all night long by Malaysia K. Black. Lookin’ good, mama! Two Charlotte girls took the spots there at Club Odyssey — Emery Starr won. Her RU was Tara Storm. Brittany O’Brian, who has moved to NC from Louisiana, won Miss Raleigh. Her RU was Ebony Summers. Jazmun Tomas made the trek to the gorgeous NC mountains and is your new Miss Asheville — smart girl, as I understand this was a very nice prize package thanks to promoter Natalie Maria Smalls.

On the NC U.S.ofA. side, Miss Tri-Cities was just held at Night Owls in Gastonia. Jessica Jewel Addams won. Her RU was Brandi Andrews. I really hate I missed my big sis Jacqueline St. James, former Miss U.S.ofA. at Large who was there to entertain. I hear she had a load of properly placed cosmetics on, naturally.

Now, I’ve got more on the local level. They recently had the Miss and Mr. Triad Pride pageant at Warehouse 29 in Greensboro and here are the results: the Miss winner was Felicity B. Knight-Addams with RU Malayia Chanel Iman; the Mr. winner was Neil ‘The Vessel’ O’Hara with RUs Jaylen Chanel Rainbow and J.T. Also held recently at the Warehouse was the 5th Annual Miss NC Sex Kitten contest. Bree La’Moure won; her RUs were Cheetah V. Shaw, Onyx Jade Addams and Shana Chanella. Miss Myrtle Beach Pride was held a few weeks back and Jessica Raye won; her RU was Dasia Monet Tate.

On the national scene, Miss EOY quickly approaches and my good sis Angelica Dust won Miss NC; her RU was Eureka O’Hara. I heard Miss Angelica had turned Creative Evening Wear O-U-T! You better work, little baby! Miss TX is former Miss U.S.ofA. Asia O’Hara with RU (another former U.S.ofA.) Sweet Savage. Miss Canada is Deangela Show Shannon with RU Devine.

Other than the aforementioned ladies, here’s wishing my sisters Porkchop and la Erika Norell best wishes at the Louisville shindig!

On the U.S.ofA. at Large scene, Miss OK is Bianca LeBlanc, with RU Cordilla Monroe, and my crazy girlfriend Mia Adams won Miss Super Nova and her RU was Mackynzie Bryant.

The most recent national pageant to take place that I know of was also the most talked-about new national — the All-American Goddess. By now, you know that Alyssa Edwards won. She tied for Talent on final night with her 1st RU Alana Steele; Alyssa also won Interview and final night Gown. Second RU was Dee Ranged (winner of Q & A), third was an old school friend of mine from the Tulsa days, Kandy Cayne, and fourth RU was Chanel Cartier. Other finalists included Annastacia DeMoore, Sania De La Cruz, Claire DeShay, Kennedy Davenport, Tanisha Cassadine, Maya Campbell and Cass Marie Domino. The Best Non-Finalist was also Most Beautiful — a Puerto Rican knock-out by the name of Whitney Gaitan. I’m sure many of you remember her from Continental days when she’d throw that hair in Swimsuit and also the gorgeous Josephine Bakker Talent she did one year.

In closing, a shameless self-promotion: Miss Della’s creator wants to mention a project he’s working on — many of you may know I’ve sponsored a precious kid in Honduras, Central America now for almost nine years. I’m raising money to build this kid a house and have asked the owners of my three favorite national pageants to donate at least the amount of a final night ticket to their pageants. Girls, if you appreciate a mention when I was just goddess-worshipping, feel free! If you feel I’ve helped add to your celebrity, really feel free. Here’s the link: firstgiving.com/ gerardoshouse. I’d rather do it with you than without you! : :

info: Drop me a line, OK? TheTeaMissD@yahoo.com