I recently met the man of my dreams. Of course, he lives in New Orleans and I’m about to move to New York City. But, I really, deep down, think that he’s “the one!” Help!
Dreamer in Two Cities, Atlanta, GA
Hello Dreamer in Two Cities,
If love finds you, follow it, chase it, run with it until you’re scared and bruised and glowing with adventure. Love’s definitely not practical, so don’t you be either, at least right away. Must you move to New York City? Can’t you spend a few trial weeks in New Orleans? Listen, honey, if he feels the same way and if you know, or at least can spend time finding out if he is “the one,” then NYC can wait. Love cannot wait. Now live, live, live!
When is it safe to let someone I am starting to date know all my intimate details?
Waiting to Disclose, Boston, MA
Hey Waiting to Disclose,
When car dealers sell cars, they clean it, tune it and make it “purr like a kitten.” They never disclose the problems. Once it’s sold, the buyer finds the problems, but is already “hooked” and eventually learns to love it. Either way, it’s called “bait and hook.” So, sweetie, wait until someone is “hooked,” then disclose your not-so-perfect past. For me, it’s usually after the fourth date when I say, “I’m a clean freak, a relationship junkie and I can only prepare dinner… reservations!” (See how I deal with life’s little secrets when you check out my cartoon.)
While in a 10-year relationship that went sour, my ex convinced me to have sex with him and another man. I hated it! Now, I’m dating this new guy who asked me to do the same thing! Should I change my ways?
Threeway Problems, Salt Lake City, UT
Nobody should do what he or she hates. Yet, nobody should fall off a horse and never get back on either. These things come up, I mean three things come up, I mean… listen, pumpkin, if you don’t like the idea of a threesome, then don’t do it, but not because of some old experience. Now, should you change your ways, of course, change, alter, experience and grow! However, I must agree with you that two men snoring is a hell of a lot louder than one.
I keep falling in love, or, at least, I think it’s love. How do you know if you’re in love or in lust?
Love & Lust Troubles, Austin, TX
Dear Love & Lust Troubles,
There are a million answers to this question, but, darling, you should at least have 10. These 10 tips have always worked for me, so here are:
Trinity’s Sassy Tips For Knowing When You’re In Love Or In Lust
1. When you think of him as your hot new porn star boyfriend and nothing else. Lust!
2. When being around her is like floating through the Garden of Eden with French subtitles. Love!
3. Even though he’s a selfish, unkind, schmuck, he’s still really good in bed. Lust!
4. When hugging her gives you butterflies and kissing her makes you see fireworks. Love!
5. When you want to introduce her to all your cool friends, but not any close relatives. Lust!
6. When you change all your plans and move to New Orleans just to see if he’s “the one” Love!
7. When she said, “not interested!” for the fifth time and you still heard, “Hot intercourse.” Lust!
8. When you dream of wedding bells and organ music surrounded by an orgy of naked fitness models. Love and lust!
9. When you keep all of her used undergarments, but toss out the poetry and love letters. Lust!
10. When you work past all the problems and still fantasize about growing old together. Love! : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.