Everyone accept my best friend knows he’s being cheated on. Should I tell him or should I let him find out on his own? Either way he’s in for a big hurt!
Burning Both Ends, Flint, Mich.
The question is not do you tell him, but rather, “How do you help him get hurt the least?” He may become resentful towards you for telling him, thus: a) have an anonymous person tell him; b) suggest something like, “What would you do if…?”; c) make it possible for him to find out on his own; or d) shut up and pray. Unfortunately, being a friend, sweetie, means learning to step forward at the same time as stepping back!
Lately, it’s been so hard appreciating what I have when I feel like my life has no meaning and should have been different or better. Trinity, what do you do when life doesn’t make sense?
A Better Life, Milwaukee, Wisc.
Hey A Better Life,
Every smart, healthy, growing adult questions his or her life many times throughout life. When my life stops having deep meaning, I start going out more with friends, watching comedies, taking a nice vacation which includes some wild affairs or adventures. But, most importantly, pumpkin, I try to remember that life is a banquet! (Check out the cartoon for some uplifting tips.)
With all the lies and deception I’ve been experiencing around dating, do you think it’s wrong to ask for a credit check, medical records, job resume and a family genealogy chart before getting serious with someone?
Get Smart, Wilmington, Del.
Hello Get Smart,
It may sound subversive and CIA-esque, but in today’s world people are so desperate to empress that special someone that morals and wits can often get tossed into the wind and blown right back into your face. In olden days people lived in the same communities for many generations so everyone knew each other’s background. But, today, everyone’s a stalker, I mean a stranger. Credit checks, job resumes and the such may be too pushy, but, honey, doing a little internet investigation before falling head first may save you a lot of headaches later on!
Blah, blah, blah…and for the first time in my life I am having a tryst. I want it to last for as long as it can. Advise?
Twists For Trysts, Chicago, Ill.
I have had my share of trysts, thank God. Oh, and guess what I just found?
Trinity’s Tasteful Tips For Things To Do Before A Tryst*
(*a secret meeting arranged by lovers)
1. Placing yourself into the perfect “frame of mind” can be as simple as breathing, being playful and leaving your troubles way behind.
2. Atmosphere means candles, romantic music, clean sheets and, oh yes, turn off the damn cell phone.
3. Appearing “cleaned up” and perfumed “down there,” promises that you’ll be all smiles during this affair.
4. Temperature control, i.e., fans, air conditioners and heaters make for a comfortable, longer lasting soiree.
5. Contraceptives, massage lotion and a few fun toys should be placed inside the night table, not sitting open in an old shoebox.
6. Bubbling champagne flutes and dark chocolate truffles on a plate should be sitting on top of the nightstand, not far away in the kitchen.
7. Pre-place extra champagne, chocolates and a few cigarettes in a cool, close place.
8. If “time is of the essence” then, by all means, be all hands, not all words.
9. Needing or wanting more and more means sooner than later they’ll be running out the door. Be patient.
10. Lastly, when you’re running back to work or home (to your spouse), check for clothing stains, foreign perfume smells and their message on your cell phone.
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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