Dear Trinity,
My boyfriend of several months insists on staying at my place. I don’t mind, but he refuses to let me see his home, claiming the family he rents from are total slobs. I respect his privacy, but I have a difficult time trusting someone so secretive. Am I being obsessive or scammed?
Secrets, Pasadena, CA

Dear Secrets,
If you have to, insist on seeing where he lives! It’s been several months, you’re allowed! And if he still refuses, start doing a little investigating, like visiting his workplace, his gym or his detention center. Honey, everyone has secrets, especially adults. Don’t get too obsessive, but DO follow your intuition with some investigation work!
Good luck, Trinity

Hello Trinity,
I’ve been dating a few guys, at the same time. There’s nothing wrong with it, is there?
Powerdating, Hoboken, NJ

Hello Powerdating,
“Powerdating,” or dating many people at once, is as smart as shopping for the best-priced diamond. There’s not only nothing wrong with it, but I say, you go for it! Knowing how to powerdate is way smarter than not dating or dating one loser at a time!
Have fun, Trinity

Hey Trinity,
I went to the bar and met someone really great, who charmed me for hours. They gave me their number and insisted on talking in a couple days. Great, right, well I’ve called three times in a week and nothing. Is it me, them, the bar or just bad karma?
Bar Karma, Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Hey Bar Karma,
Yes, it’s you, them, the bar and just bad karma. I know you want one right answer, but it’s many answers. Remember the four rules for “meeting someone at the bar,” 1) bar dates are rarely taken seriously, 2) after the drinks wear off, they may not remember you, 3) bar flies love to charm and sting and 4) sometimes the stars are just not in your favor!
Better luck next time, Trinity

Dearest Trinity,
I vowed never to date a smoker again, but here I am again. How do I do it this time without sounding like a certified complainer?
Nonsmoker’s Hell, Columbus, OH

Dearest Nonsmoker’s Hell,
Nonsmokers who date smokers eventually end up certified complainers. That’s why, pumpkin, you must start this relationship by sharing:

Trinity’s “Never To Do” Tips for Dating a Nonsmoker

  1. Never smoke IN THE HOUSE. The smell of smoke and lack of oxygen are torturous to nonsmokers, sort of like slowly being eaten by an alligator.
  2. Never smoke IN THE CAR even if it’s a convertible. Nothing’s worse than a romantic wind blowing while gasping for air.
  3. Never smoke IN AN OUTDOOR CAFE because you’ll both have to sit in the smoking (to death) section plus smoke, ashtrays and food don’t mix.
  4. Never let IT SIT IN THE ASHTRAY. Even if someone says, “It doesn’t bother me” It does! Keep the ashtray far away.
  5. Never assume YOUR BREATH IS OK. If you smoke, it stinks, period. After a smoke, swallow a mint and wash your smelly hands.
  6. Never just BRUSH YOUR TEETH. After every cigarette (if you’re home), brush your teeth, tongue and upper palate.
  7. Never assume THREE’S COMPANY and two’s a crowd. Bringing a cigarette on a date is like bringing your nagging mother along!
  8. Never let the OUTDOORS FOOL YOU. Smoke is attracted to nonsmokers. So smoke far away from them. (Trick: incense disguises cigarette smoke).
  9. Never assume ONLY SMOKERS GET MOODY. Just like smokers, nonsmokers can get moody when they can’t breathe.
  10. Lastly, never take A NONSMOKER to a smoking party without a nonsmoking area. Being trapped in a group of smokers is like… being trapped in quicksand with a group of smokers.

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama, performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings. Sponsored by: WIG Ministries, www.wigministries.org Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Send e-mails to: Trinity@telltrinity.com

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