Hey Trinity,
You have said that “gay men were created to teach the world how to be fabulous looking and sexuality enlightened.” Well then what about straight men?
Straight Stumped, Richmond, Va.

Hey Straight Stumped,
Excluding metrosexuals, being sexually attracted to the opposite sex and having little-to-no interior design or fashion sense often defines heterosexual men. They have many purposes, such as procreation and…well, ah…yes, procreation is one of their many virtues. And, lets not forget who does the dirty work, i.e., oil changes, ditch digging and farming. So, baby, be kind, understanding and reach out and touch a heterosexual’s hand. Make this world a better place if you can.

Dearest Trinity,
After five years my very wonderful relationship has become a very dysfunctional disaster. I love my partner and I really want it to work, but he and us are out of control.
Dys-Satisfied, Houston, Texas

Dearest Dys-Satisfied,
Relationships are like floors, if you don’t keep up with them they get faded, ruined and often end up needing to be destroyed. Virginia Satir, author and relationship therapist wrote, “Every three months end your relationship and start it again new with the same person.” In other words, darling, you can turn a dysfunctional relationship around by continually reinventing and reestablishing new rules, getting couples counseling and/or getting out while you’re still alive! (Let me show you a clue while you view my cartoon.)

Hey Trinity,
My boyfriend of seven months suddenly announced that he wants to be “openly” promiscuous and be with me. Even though I am not comfortable with it, should I try?
Confusion, Portland, Ore.

Hey Confusion,
I’ve heard of having your cake and eating it too, but being a slut and having a relationship too may be pushing it! There are many relationships based not on monogamy but rather on friendship, openness and even sexual freedom. So you have to sit with yourself and decide what you want from this relationship. You may decide that being open is better than cheating or that this is completely ridiculous! Pumpkin, isn’t honesty a bitch sometimes?

Dear Trinity,
My partner keeps telling me to see a psychotherapist, but I am typically used to handling my problems on my own. Isn’t therapy for people who are on their last straw?
Therapy Thoughts, Cape Cod, Mass.

Dear Therapy Thoughts,
We all need intellectual support, spiritual guidance and emotional assistance, especially before “the last straw.” But, sweetie, if you’re still not convinced here are:

Trinity’s Practical Tips For Why To Visit A Professional Psychotherapist
1. Therapy may not be necessary for people who have their lives together, but it sure helps if you want to keep it that way.
2. Talking one-on-one with a professional is much more practical than calling the psychic hotlines, a busy neighbor or spilling your guts to 911.
3. Sitting in a safe, comfortable environment with an objective professional truly is one of the easiest ways to look at yourself.
4. You don’t have to be jumping off a bridge to qualify for therapy. Get help before bridge-jumping season begins, please!
5. Remember, the smartest people with the highest self-esteem don’t become that way alone.
6. You can always wait until the “The Last Straw” but why?
7. When someone says, “My therapist didn’t help.” I reply, “If your mechanic didn’t help would you dump your car. Try someone else.”
8. If you’re extremely stubborn about solving your problems alone then not only should you look into therapy but look into it today!
9. “I can’t afford a therapist,” means you have to research public health or non-profit agencies. There are plenty of affordable mental health clinics. Find one.
10. Lastly, yes, no one knows you better than yourself but did you also know that you might still be reacting to the world as if it was 20 years ago.

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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