My sexual appetite has been crazy lately. Is it so wrong to sleep with whomever I want? And what’s a healthy sex life anyway?
Sex Life, Chicago, IL
Hey Sex Life,
The difference between a healthy sex life and a hedonistic one usually happens around the full moon where even monks and nuns have to loosen their collars. Moreover, promiscuity is not a new word, but it does get stale. Sure, sex is grand, but the unreturned phone calls, texts, emails and/or late nights on the Internet, in the streets or at the bars plus constantly ducking social diseases eventually turns quality into quantity and possible addiction. So, pumpkin, for a healthier sex life remember, moderation, patience, fun, adventure and a bit of abstinence now and then will keep you fresh from turning overly ripe.
I’m single and want a relationship, yet my best friend who has a boyfriend always talks about being single. Can we ever win?
Me And/Or We, Phoenix, AZ
Hello Me And/Or We,
Some people live alone and hate it, while others live as a couple and hate it too. But, honey, the best attitude for dealing with any situation is, a) accept what you don’t have, b) enjoy what you do have and c) work hard for what you want. Oh and d) fantasize, fantasize, fantasize! Good luck… (and take a look at how I navigate the jungle of love when you check out my cartoon.)
I’ve been married five years and love my partner, but I’ve had a couple of affairs on the side. I’m not proud, but it happened. I’ve been keeping a diary and don’t want him to see it. Where’s a good place to hide it?
Diary Troubles, NYC, New York
Dearest Diary Troubles,
As for extra marital affairs, you know it’s wrong! And I know it happens — so now listen up, sweetie! Walk that diary to furthest garbage can, in the furthest state and burn it. And never “write your wrongs” in a diary, especially with the person you wronged living in the same house as that diary. Every diary eventually gets read, period.
My ex and I dated for a couple months and soon moved in together, but soon after that we broke up. Now we still live together and fight all the time. I need communication help ASAP!
Trapped In Ex-Hell, Miami, FL
I know adventure is the key to heaven’s gate, and you’ll never get in there by always doing the right thing, but, baby, did you have to move in so quickly? Anyway, for now, read:
Trinity’s Smart Tips For Learning Good Communication Skills
1. Learn to find the right moment. A safe, calm and gentle timeslot to sit down and yell, I mean talk is always best.
2. Learn to talk neutrally. Speak in such a way that no one is right or wrong, but rather “this is one possible way” of seeing it.
3. Learn to let it out. Express yourself while being clear, to the point, patient and strong.
4. Learn to bite your tongue. Not always saying what you feel at the exact time you feel it is a holy task.
5. Learn to walk away. You don’t always have to have the last word or always win, enough said!
6. Learn to ask for outside advice. Make time to talk to neutral friends, relatives or professionals.
7. Learn to give it a rest. Create fun, upbeat moments together where you don’t talk about what bothers you.
8. Learn not to bring up past problems that have already been put to sleep. Every issue eventually deserves to rest in peace.
9. Learn to use humor and wit, “I love you best when…” “I feel like eating the dog when…” and so on.
10. Lastly, learn to touch, hug or kiss someone you are mad at even when you don’t feel like it. Touching is healing!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.