Dear Trinity,
One month into dating his job was cut and “to save money,” he and his two pets moved into my tiny one bedroom apartment. Well, now six months later, I still love him, but I want my place back. He never pays rent or utilities and anytime I bring up “moving,” it ends up a bad scene. I just want some time “alone.”
Trapped At Home, Wichita, KS

Dear Trapped,
He doesn’t pay rent and he gets mad when you bring up the moving! Why should he move, when it’s free rent? However, unless you make it less comfortable for him to stay there, i.e., tell him you’re moving out or you’re quitting your job and need his help! Most importantly, darling, you need to get tough, which may sound like, “I love you, but I love myself more!”

Hello Trinity,
There’s a bartender at my local bar who’s so right for me. I visit him often at work and keep asking him out, but he keeps declining. Now, I think I’m scaring him away, plus I think he thinks I’m stalking him. Help?
Stalking?, Rehoboth Beach, DE

tt_391_102513Hello Stalking,
When you find out someone’s not interested in you, yet you keep appearing at his job, the only word I can think of is “stalking” which is the farthest think from “starting” a relationship. So, honey, stay closer to guys who want to date you and far away from stalking guys who don’t. (You can see how arrested I am about this when you check out my cartoon.)

Hey Trinity,
I met this guy online, got him to my home and he turned into a sex pig — spitting, swearing, pain worship and more. I’m not vanilla, but how do you know if someone wants a “scene,” not just sex?
Gone Too Far, Toronto, ON

Hey Gone Too Far,
With one-night stands, you have to take a stand. Next time just ask, “What are you into?” And, then listen for key words like hugging and affection versus hitting and asphyxiation. Some people love to make love and some think that to love means to make war. If sex is an adventure, plan each trip wisely!

Dearest Trinity,
Since inviting me for dinner and a movie, I assumed it was a date, but after dinner we ended up in bed where he “accidentally” orgasmed and immediately asked me to leave. Was my beautiful date really just a bad one-night stand?
Shocked, Montreal, QC

Dearest Shocked,
He cooked, came and kicked you out. Damn, that little monster! Sorry, pumpkin, but yes, you were yet another man’s toy. Next time read:

Trinity’s Short Tips For Knowing When Mr. Cool Is Really Mr. Fool
1. When meeting you for a date: he arrives unkempt, in greasy work clothes, obviously unshowered and insists on fooling around!
2. On every date: he shows up late and gets angry if you bring it up.
3. At the club: he cruises without caring if you notice!
4. While meeting your friends: he acts confrontational, argumentative and self-righteous just to get a reaction from them!
5. At dinner: his dinner arrives first, so he starts eating without waiting or offering to share it until your meal arrives.
6. During conversation: he burps, coughs in your face and sneezes towards your food without any excuses!
7. During a DVD movie: you have to use the bathroom, but he refuse to pause the film because he’s so into it!
8. At breakfast: he knows you’re vegan, but makes his favorite ham and eggs with no alternative for you!
9. While making Saturday night plans: he says, “I’ll call you around 8 p.m. if I can make it” without caring that you’ll be left without plans if he cancels.
10. Lastly, during sex: he has an orgasm first, gets dressed and leaves without offering you an orgasm or post sex cuddling. : :

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, Learn more at