I stood someone up. I apologized, and now he won’t answer my calls. What’s up? I had an excuse, and I called the next night.
What’s Up, Eugene, OR
Hey What’s Up,
You called the next night? OMG, aren’t you just Saint A-Day-Late. Sweetie, when you decide not to show up you owe it to that person you share a planet with to clearly communicate (even if you have to lie) that you won’t be showing up. Period! And that clear communication comes at least an hour before your planned date, not an hour later. Baby, the human race runs on integrity or it doesn’t run at all.
Doesn’t not showing up for a date that I’m not interested in send a strong message that, I’m just not interested?
Not Interested, Austin, TX
Hello Not Interested,
I suppose if you’re seven years old or lost most of your rational mind in a car crash, then this is a great way to say, I’m an a**hole, I mean, I’m not interested. But for the rest of the civilized world, this is not OK, I repeat, this is not OK! Next time call or text (at least one hour before your scheduled time) to say, “I have an emergency” and then dump them tomorrow the same way! Remember, darling, this person may be a witness at your trial, or your juror or even your judge! Or even worse, you may make a wonderful person become sad, confused and depressed, maybe even worse. (Be positive about your options, and don’t get mired in the muck when you get stood up as my cartoon shows.)
I kept checking the place, the time and the day until I realized I was being stood up. I am still fuming three days later. Help!
Fuming, Albuquerque, NM
What you can’t do is keep on being mad, angry or resentful. It’s a waste of time, energy and self-esteem. But what you can do is try to forget, start the forgiveness process and maybe even daydream that they meet an alcoholic, chain smoking ex-con with a love for pet snakes. You can also text or leave a voice message telling this person exactly how you feel. And then, pumpkin, get right back on that horse and start meeting great dates again.
I waited at the bar for two hours and still no date. I never heard from them at all. What now?
Sadly, Waited, Charlotte, NC
Two hours! It’s not what you should do now, but rather what you should’ve done then. Honey, start memorizing:
Trinity’s Sturdy Tips For What To Do After 30 Minutes Passes And You Realize You’re Being Stood Up
1. Don’t start sending nasty texts. Wait 15 minutes and call or text. Wait 15 minutes more, and then leave.
2. Leave! Get out of the bar, restaurant or movie theater. Staying means looking for them all night!
3. Go for a walk, a drink or a visit to a friend’s house, but never sit waiting and wondering.
4. Breathe deeply and trust life. Give thanks for all the other great things in your life!
5. Play upbeat music. Don’t listen to lovely, mellow or downer music!
6. Call friends to support you and remind you of just how great you are.
7. Treat yourself to a massage, a dark chocolate bar or a counseling session!
8. Exercise. If you’re at home, don’t wait for their call or knock on the door. Do pushups, yoga, clean the bathroom or play with the dog. Get your blood flowing!
9. Think good thoughts about them and yourself. Daydream of them in whatever (evil or kind) way you’d like.
10. Turn on the Comedy Channel and laugh because it’s all going to be fine. This is the first day of the rest of your life…not the last!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.