Hey Trinity,
This may sound juvenile, but I’m afraid to tell my girlfriend that I’m younger than I said I was. I’m afraid she’ll dump me. She always says, “I really like that you’re older than me.” And, so on. What should I do?
Yours, Age Caged, Houston, TX

Hey Caged,
It sounds cliché to say “she should like you for you, not your age,” but she should, period! However, she likes older and you must deal with your original lie. So, first while she’s sleeping, repeat often quietly in her ear, “younger is better.” If she’s still attached to your older, more established fake history, then it’s time to fess up, honey. Decide between spending the rest of your life lying or coming clean with the truth! If she still dumps you for your age, then consider yourself saved from a long life controlled by her irrational fantasies!

Dearest Trinity,
My boyfriend and I had our first big fight. We have not talked in over a week. Does this mean it’s over?
First Fight, Topeka, KS

Dearest First Fight,
Happily dating couples often think that they’re in “Oz”, the land of bliss. Then comes the first fight when someone appears to be the Wicked Witch (or Wizard) of the West. But, only a cowardly lion needs to run. Sweetie, when a tornado strikes it often opens new doors. Fighting is a normal, and often healthy, way two people let it all out. So, let this fight make you two stronger not weaker. Practice communication, compromise and forgiveness! Until a house falls on your head, keep working on this yellow brick road!

Dear Trinity,
I was wondering what you, as a celebrity, are doing for America and the war efforts?
Standing Up For America, Buffalo, NY

Dear Standing Up,
Like everyone, I am trying to find my place as an American in these days of war. Pumpkin, we all must do what we can in whatever way we are able. (See how I wave Old Glory and dance away the evening in my cartoon.)

Hello Trinity,
I have strong feelings for a guy who knows about these feelings. But, one minute he’s very attentive to me and the next minute he’s unaware of my existence. Unfortunately, I can’t get over him!
MEN (ugh!), Fort Lauderdale, FL

Hello MEN (ugh!),
You’re either very young or very new to the ways and woes of men! So, here’s some hints, darling, for getting you through the next hundred years or hundred days. I suggest you cut and paste these on your wall and learn to accept them!

Trinity’s Eye Opening Tips For Understanding The Lame Activities Of Men
1. Inconsistency, selfishness and cold mood swings are side affects of MSG and men!
2. If he’s madly in love with you and can’t stop thinking about you, but acts like nothing’s going on, then you’re with a man!
3. Emotional expressions are often found in women, artists and many living things but as for men, try again!
4. “My needs, my freedom, my sexual desires, my side of the story…” are phrases most often spoken by…guess who!
5. Some men are extremely kind, sensitive, warm and loving, but these men are mostly found in monasteries!
6. Cooking, cleaning, parenting and taking out the trash are things men find other people to do!
7. If you’re (tired of) hearing, “I’m late, it’s not my fault. I forgot our date. It’s not my fault.” “Sorry, but blah, blah, it’s not my fault.” Then you are definitely with a man!
8. Occasional flings and apparent flirting accompanied by puppy dog eyes and expensive presents can only represent one gender!
9. Men often appear to be clearheaded, practical, passionate types… until the third month of dating!
10. Lastly, now that you know everything about men, don’t fret, because they can also be trained to be incredibly romantic…given time! : :

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was
host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama,
and now performs globally.

info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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