Hey Trinity,

Why do so many gay men use the pronouns she and he so interchangeably, for example, “I love Mike. She decorates fabulously. He also cooks well. I just love her bubble butt too.” Why, why, why?  

Profoundly Pronouned   Lincoln, NE

Hey Pronouned,

Long ago when gay men were camping it up in secret underground gathering spots, they needed a secret language that concealed their closeted/subversive lives, thus, they started using ‘she’ to disguise the ‘he’ that lived in their hearts. And it has stuck ever since. This is less used in languages that use male/female genders like French and Spanish. So Sweetie, as for sister, girlfriend and/or Mary, learn to love it. Oh and if any of my readers have a more historical answer send it to me and I’ll send you a present. Girl kisses, Trinity

Dearest Trinity,

I recently entered a talent/pageant contest but quickly found out that it had it’s own underlining rules and games that dictated who had a chance to win or not. Don’t you think pageants are outdated and meaningless?

Yours, Pageant Proclamations   Savannah, GA      

Dearest P.P.,

Pageants have been around since the mid 1800’s serving some sort of ancient sexually frustrated/male domination soiree. Today it just continues to make some feel great, while leaving the rest of us wondering, “Am I enough?” In the end one person feels really great about themselves and everyone else who didn’t win just ends up needing years of therapy. But Honey, we all know including yourself that life’s full of ups and downs, yet true self-acceptance is the greatest pageant prize you could ever win.

DATING DILEMMA #570

Hello Trinity

My roommate also friend wants to date my ex. I’m OK with it but is this going to cause trouble for me and my roommate?

Roommate Drama  New Hope, PA

Hello Roommate Drama,

Will having your ex, dating, running around naked and/or fighting with your roommate cause trouble for you? Ah… give me a second while I… scream “YES, of course, absolutely!” But Babe, if your roommate has the nerve to do it anyway then tell your roommate to keep the dog OUTSIDE!  Good luck, Trin.

Dear Trinity,

I want to ask the love of my life to marry me. Any special ideas?

Impractical Proposals   San Francisco, CA

Dear Impractical,

In my life I’ve had some wonderful proposals one day maybe one will stick long enough to pay the rent. So with that Pumpkin here are: Trinity’s Impractical Tips For Romantic Proposals

1. A horse and buggy ride in the park at sunset ending at a small quartet playing your favorite song. 

2. A helicopter ride over the beach where in the sand you have had someone write, Will you marry me Shawn?

3. On a white horse, in a knight’s uniform go to his/her workplace and present a scroll that says, “The King (or Queen) orders you to marry me.”

4. Have a TV or radio station make you a proposal ‘jingle’ and have it run as a commercial several times on his/her favorite station.

5. While sitting in a romantic place hire a group of costumed characters to present your proposal.

6. Kidnap (kindly) him/her with prepacked luggage and drive upstate to a quaint resort village to propose.

7. Rent a billboard located on his/her way to work that says, “Jean, marry me or else! Tracey”

8. While tied up in their favorite S&M position a band of fetish slaves enters the dungeon to make the proposal!  Just kidding… sort of!

9. You’re supposedly going to a big party on the fiftieth floor but when the elevator opens it’s just a waiter, wine, musicians and a table for two.

10. Lastly, try going a very romantic cruise ship, air balloon ride and/or hiring some people to make it impractical and memorable.

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama, performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings. Sponsored by: WIG Ministries, www.wigministries.org Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Send e-mails to: Trinity@telltrinity.com

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