Retrograde Saturn and Pluto sextile. Whoops! Who moved my cheese? And why is it being spread on a kaiser roll? Life is one big dramatic surprise which leads to powerful opportunities. A pox on those who sit by and passively watch the action. It’s time to roll.

ARIES (03.21-04.20) Power is sexy and intoxicating. Will you be lured to the executive flame? Your heart is aflutter and may fly up the corporate ladder. A furtive romance is in the making. But weigh and measure the impact of a love affair with someone on the job, proud Ram. A hot crossed bun today can become pretty stale next week. And, then what?

TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Surprise a certain someone with two tickets to parts unknown and explore parts unknown. Queer Bulls find ways to juice their relationships with a complete change of venue. If you are on the hoof, try looking for your little doggie off the beaten track or in uniquely different places. You may discover a very exciting new breed with a bag of tricks. Just pack the treats!

GEMINI (05.22-06.21) The question is, “How much are you willing to give up to advance professionally?” It is a rather large and looming question since devilish temptations present themselves. Pink Twins can be tempted to make a dramatic, horizontal career move. While there may be a nice payoff, do you really want to be known as bought goods?

CANCER (06.22-07.23) Around the clock partying can lead to some interesting and lucky “collaborations.” Gay Crabs can transform or detonate their current relationships or create new ones. Good. Things may have gotten routine and boring. Sedate and boring are not big motivators for you now. You prefer hot nights and cold beer. Get singed…and very wet.

LEO (07.24-08.23) If you can muster energy to tackle long-term and highly-detailed projects, you’ll find the payoff in your home life. Proud Lions can become domesticated divas and manage to dispatch all the unpleasant work projects around the house. The results give you the encouragement (and oomph) to tackle even more irksome domestic problems. Gee, who can that be?!

VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Queer Virgins are powerful and compelling now. Have a great idea? Don’t spend this time squeaking to yourself. Your thoughts are on fire and your opinions have incredible impact. Of course, there are those lazy souls who emote their grandest speeches in the safety net of the usual crowd. Give yourself a wider berth and a larger microphone.

LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Proud Libras are tempted to just count their pennies and save for a rainy day. But, now you cannot help but splurge. Upgrade your surroundings and enjoy life a little. I bet there are one or two items that you secretly crave that will transform your home. Go for it! Alas, too, too soon you will need to go back to clipping coupons and seeking the early bird special.

SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) Who is that supernova? That glistening being who overshadows all other orbs? It’s little old you, queer Scorp! You have more personal moxie than usual. It is the perfect time to rouse yourself from your stupor, get out of your rut and expand your realm into new powerful circles. Influential people take notice. Invest in long-dormant projects before they lose interest.

SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) Lucky breaks seem to materialize out of nowhere and gay Archers are strategic and political enough to maximize their worth. Hidden enemies are vanquished, but not before you reassess how you are doing business and what you truly value. There is mucho money to be made here and you are ready and poised to do so if you choose. Some bastards have all the luck.

CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Pink Caps are not usually interested in taking orders, but now friends have a powerful influence over you. They are the ones who spur you into action in a different direction. You touch the outer limits of possibilities if you can depart from your usual carefulness and take some sage advice from those who care about you. Do your own thing…with a randy band of pals.

AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) If you have been toiling in the background waiting to be noticed and rewarded, this is your time to crow, Aqueerius. Your corporate ascent rockets up. It is accomplished through gut instinct, a few lucky breaks and a cadre of plotting star makers. The corporate superhighway makes a space for you in the fast lane. It is time to rev and avoid the tolls.

PISCES (02.20-03.20) Compadres mix a potent cocktail of travel, mischief and adventure. Shake briskly, add a cherry, clear your calendar and plot your great escape. Guppies run wild and put the sin back in synergy. If money and time are tight, gather a few kindred souls closer to home and make do with spicy take-out and cheap foreign plonk. : :

© 2013 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment.

info: Visit for e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.