It’s Pride Season and during this interview, you’ll have the opportunity to meet Denise Furr, co-owner of Rainbow Maid (a residential and commercial cleaning service), and one of Charlotte’s earliest Pride volunteers. Originally from Concord, Furr has called Charlotte home since the mid-90s and shares her life and home with her partner and an assortment of canine friends.
During our interview, Furr sits on her back patio, surrounded by Crepe Myrtles and yellow Lilies and sipping a cold beer while sharing thoughts about life and her personal history.
L’Monique King: What brought you to Charlotte?
Denise Furr: I think it was lust. <laughter> I came out the year that I moved to Charlotte. I had a really good friend while I was living in Concord. She and I had a pretty big argument one day, and I really didn’t want to be in the Concord area any longer. It was a small town and I really needed to get away to find love and be happy.
LMK: Where in Charlotte do you live?
DF: In a single-family home in the Mint Hill area. My wife and I have lived here for 12 years. We’re happy here. The only thing I dislike about Charlotte is the changing of my neighborhood. It’s really sad to see so many people begging on the main streets. People I’ve tried to help with food, clothing and other things – but it doesn’t seem to make an impact – they are still there.
LMK: You mentioned having a wife? How’d you meet?
DF: We worked together. My dad and I started a cleaning company, he was a silent partner and she came to work for us. We were both with other people at the time and started off as friends. We were just friends for 20 years. We’d see each other at parties with our partners and at church. When our relationships dissolved – practically at the same time, about 14 years ago we maintained a friendship. We ended up living and working together and having many adventures together. I still help her clean houses every now and then. She’s a fabulous butch woman. I love her like I have never loved any woman in my life. She is the love of my life. I wish to God we had gotten together 20 years earlier.
LMK: You described your wife as Butch, a word many younger lesbians now seem to shy away from. What are your thoughts on the apparent disdain for the older term?
DF: I wish newer generations didn’t feel that way. We, as LGBTQ+ elders, are listening to them [our younger community members] and trying to use new pronouns and new language. So, I think they should give our words, our language, our ways of defining ourselves a chance too. Just listen to us – I guarantee you – you will learn something.
LMK: What’s the best thing about your relationship?
DF: Our humor. She makes me laugh. That’s what attracted me to her. We have so much fun together. There was this one time, when we were on our way to clean a house in Dilworth and this song came on the radio. It was “More Than A Feeling” by Blue Suede. We both love it. We were singing it to each other when she pulled over, we got out and danced, a little dirty dancing <chuckles>. When the song was over, we got back in our car, kissed and drove off to our cleaning job for a client we’ve had for 25 years.
LMK: What do you currently do for a living?
DF: I have three jobs. I have the cleaning business and I also work for a company that cares for seniors. I’m a caregiver and I do that for the company I’m employed by and privately.
LMK: Are you caring for any aging LGBTQ+ clients?
DF: No, I’m not. I wish I could. I’d love that but it’s been challenging – finding and connecting with our aging community in need.
LMK: Any words of advice for aging LGBTQ+ folks and couples?
DF: Be kind to one another.
LMK: Let’s have a little fun with some random questions. Choose your preference. Michael Jackson or Prince?
DF: Michael Jackson, honey! Ooooooh, I love that guy.
LMK: White or Wheat?
DF: Wheat.
LMK: Strawberries or Bananas?
DF: Strawberries.
LMK: If you had a super power, what would it be?
DF: Knowing what everyone is thinking, because I’m a very curious person and always asking questions.
LMK: You possess such a warm and jovial demeanor. What if anything annoys you?
DF: Protesters and Republicans. I could say more about that last one, but I think I’d better just leave it at that.
LMK: Seems like the perfect time to ask: What does Pride mean to you? Why is it important?
DF: Because out there somewhere there’s a kid that hasn’t seen the letters LGBTQ before and may now be realizing that they are part of our community. They may also not know that there are churches and synagogues that are open to the LGBTQ+ community. Faith based organizations participate in our Pride Parade every year. My church, Caldwell Presbyterian Church participates and welcomes everyone. In fact, before attending my church I really didn’t understand what it meant to be Transgender. I’ve learned a lot since then and have been able to share that with community. I am so grateful for that and an affirming faith leader like John Michael Cleghorn.
LMK: What has been your involvement in Pride?
DF: I walked in the first Pride Parade that Charlotte had in 1981. I felt such a part of the community. I knew it was where I belonged. Club Scorpio had a softball team [The Stinging Scorpians] of mostly butch women, a few gay men and some straight male allies. Several bars had softball teams back then – so a softball game [between them] became the kickoff to the Pride Parade. It was a wonderful feeling of belonging and our team won the softball tournament. That first Pride Parade was small but well attended and we were all pretty open and [not afraid] to show our pride or affection for each other. We chanted, “We’re here! We’re Queer! Get used to it!” Though we were small, there were protesters. They were pretty far away [from the Parade route] and CMPD did a good job keeping them away.
LMK: After long days or stressful moments, what’s your self-care routine like?
DF: I get pedicures. I do that quite often. My wife has been out of town a bit lately and honestly, in her absence I sit around watching TV or playing on my phone – it’s terrible actually <giggling>. When my wife is gone, her absence is felt immensely. But I try to be good to myself and get rest. I love what I do, but it can be demanding in many ways.
LMK: What’s your Favorite TV show?
DF: ‘Mike and Molly’ and ‘King of Queens.’ They’re both sitcoms.
LMK: Share something with our readers that might be surprising about you.
DF: <Pausing thoughtfully> I have ridden horses up mountains and on the beach.
LMK: So you’re an Equestrian?
DF: <Giggles> Yes, and I love that word – sounds so bougie <giggling>. In the early ’90s I was vacationing in Jamaica and Lake Tahoe and we rode in both spots. But that was ages ago, I haven’t been horseback riding in a very long time.
LMK: Having discussed your past, let’s fast forward to your future. What do you see yourself doing 10 years from now?
DF: I don’t know. I would love to be retired but I really don’t know. I’m not a big worrier. I trust in God and believe that everything and anything that happens to me is a God moment and I don’t take those moments or life for granted. My life is not where I want it to be [currently], but it is moving in that direction. I have love and security and as I’ve grown older I’ve changed a lot – because I am still willing to learn and grow.