Dear Trinity,
Recently, my 18-year-old boyfriend and I (21 years old) were in bed together when his narrow-minded, ex-marine father, whom he lives with, caught us in his bed and threatened to kill me. Now, I have not heard from my boyfriend for days. I’m going insane! What can I do?
Traumatized, Winston-Salem, N.C.

Dear Traumatized,
Believe it or not in a few years this will be one of your favorite stories, but, for now, you’re very shaken up. You should be! In the old days his father could have legally burned, hanged or impaled you with a spear, but today he’s got to learn to deal with it. So, get some sleep. Your boyfriend will find you ASAP. Don’t try to reach him for a few days. It’s too dangerous. Pumpkin, for now, try to spend time with friends who can keep your mind occupied and let this experience settle in for you, he and his father.

Hello Trinity,
You so often write about life, liberty and the pursuit of beauty and beautiful men, but when are you going to express your views on the politics that affect our community?
Politically Concerned, Dayton, Ohio

Hello Concerned,
If truth were told, politics makes my mascara run. Though I may not often write about my political views, darling, I do invest my money in those who fight for my rights and you should too. (March right over to see my cartoon to learn how I handle this.)

Dearest Trinity,
I’m a 37-year-old woman, happily committed to my lover. I would not change a thing about my life. But once in a while, I find myself fantasizing about being single and such. Should I feel guilty?
Guilty Dreams, Trenton, N.J.

Dearest Guilty,
Take your head out of your lap and put on a Maybelline face! It’s absolutely normal and healthy to fantasize about everything, even being single, especially when you both have been long-time mates. Denying your thoughts is a big no-no. It can cause physical and mental anguish. So, sweetie, be guilt free and dream on. But make sure dinner’s ready on time and the house is clean and the dog is fed and…

Hey Trinity,
I love the photos of you on your last CD, “The Exciting Life.” You look gorgeous! Now, if Oprah and Ellen can have their own diet tips, why don’t you have yours?
Fit For Trinity, Ottawa, Canada

Hey Fit,
Being in the limelight means staying fit for the camera. Every queen from England to Broadway knows that, honey. So, in between binges of Ben & Jerry’s, a few hints have always kept me camera-ready. And, they are:

Trinity’s Hearty, Healthy And Easy Tips For Dieting And Staying Fit
1. When you must have that triple-chocolate-mousse cake, sharing half the dessert equals half the fat.
2. Parking at the end of the parking lot means walking off a few extra calories!
3. Light beers or simple alcoholic drinks have a hell of lot less fat than fancy fruit drinks or flavorful liquors.
4. Dr. Atkins says, “When you feel hungry, you’re often thirsty. So, drink a big glass of water instead!”
5. Grabbing some fruits and nuts is not just for fruits and nuts.
6. Getting a massage is equal to a seven-mile brisk walk and works wonders.
7. Taking the stairs leaves plenty of elevator space for those less fortunate (or wearing stilettos).
8. Diet sodas are fine if you’re in a clinical cancer research study, but eight glasses of spring water a day will keep you at your very best.
9. Getting a good night’s sleep guarantees physical endurance and mental self-assurance.
10. Lastly, pulling, pushing, lifting, throwing, bending and stretching are things I do all day long. So, cook-ercise, clean-ercise and work-ercise!

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
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