When it comes to sex and relationships, we’re all wacky in our own ways. Of course, one person’s particular brand of sexual or fetish desire may not be the same as that of their partner(s), so this column will look at strategies for communicating around and exploring sexual needs with a partner(s).
The first and foremost thing one needs to do is own their desires. What turns us on is what turns us on. Of course, those desires might not be feasible for reasons of ethics, or safety, or physics for that matter. Or they may be feasible, but be something you don’t think it’ll be possible to find someone to explore with. For that matter, with some interests you might prefer to keep them as yours and yours alone. Whatever your desires, they are yours, and you have to be able to own that part of yourself and be happy with who you are.
Before you can start figuring out how to talk to a partner(s) about your desires, first you need to establish if that’s a conversation you are willing to have.