Have you ever wondered if your spouse was being unfaithful? Perhaps you’ve noticed signs or had a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, national surveys indicate that 15 percent of married women and 25 percent of married men have had extramarital affairs.
Nowadays, individuals with suspicions of infidelity are turning to polygraph examiners who specialize in using equipment to detect whether an individual is being honest in response to questions pertaining to fidelity. While the use of such tests is controversial in terms of accuracy, it’s become quite common among couples faced with questions of infidelity. Whether it’s an individual wanting to know if their spouse is having an affair or an individual wanting to prove they have in fact been faithful, a growing number of people are resorting to lie-detector tests to rule out or confirm cheating.
qnotes was able to speak with multi-state licensed polygraph examiner Andrew Goldstein, better known as “The polygraph examiner.” Goldstein has been specializing in confirming and/or ruling out cases of infidelity in relationships since 2008 and has administered thousands of polygraph examinations.
Goldstein said that he began noticing an increase of LGBTQ clientele beginning about seven years ago. Being that the vast majority of his clientele had been predominantly straight, he was caught off guard during a conversation with an inquiring gentleman when he referred to the individual’s spouse as his wife. As it turned out, the gentleman was actually gay and married to a man.
“What do you think your wife has done,” Goldstein said to the gentleman. The client replied, “No, it’s my husband.”
This incident changed Goldstein’s approach when speaking to a new client. And to prevent from insulting anyone and to make clear that his service was not limited to straight couples only, from that point on he always asked his clients whether their spouse was male or female.
Following this incident, as well as Goldstein’s newly implemented preliminary question, word of his niche-like service began to spread to other gay and lesbian couples. And as a result, more and more members of the LGBTQ community who were dealing with certain relationship problems were provided with an outlet to get the necessary information they needed to give them peace of mind, or in other cases, the ammunition to part ways with their spouse.
Early on when encountering gay or lesbian clients, Goldstein said they would be somewhat reluctant to specify that they were in a same-sex relationship out of fear of being discriminated against — which he said would absolutely never be the case. In recent years he said that this has drastically changed and that individuals are being more open about being gay or lesbian.
“I’ve noticed a lot more individuals being forthcoming about their being in a same-sex relationship or marriage,” said Goldstein. “Which I feel is a result of the LGBTQ community growing and becoming stronger as well as society as whole becoming more accepting,” he added.
As dating and hookup apps and websites are becoming more popular as well as the advent of social media, there is now more of an opportunity for spouses to cheat. Goldstein said he feels it is associated with the growing infidelity rates that have increased in his volume of calls.
He said that he tries to help people get the information they need and that most individuals are just seeking the truth. In many cases, individuals often confess to their infidelity even before Goldstein administers the polygraph examination. He claims it is due to the high caliber of testing equipment he uses and that he thoroughly explains the mechanics of it to the individual being tested prior to the test being administered. However, the examination usually still takes place.
“Most of the time when an individual confesses to one instance of infidelity, their spouse wants to know other information such as how many occurrences there have been,” Goldstein said.
With Valentine’s Day approaching, qnotes wanted to know if the holidays had any impact on Goldstein’s business.
“During all holidays I see an increase in calls, but particularly around Valentine’s Day my phone calls increase tremendously,” said Goldstein.” “I receive calls from every race, religion, creed, color and sexual orientation. We all have the same problems.”
He said that there are instances where individuals will often end up confessing to infidelity following their spouse’s confession.
To give a better idea as to how these types of occurrences unfold, Goldstein provided a scenario.
“Let’s say I have a couple by the name of John and Mike where John is accusing Mike of cheating. So, I test Mike and he confesses to cheating one time. Then all of a sudden Mike says I want to know what John has done, and it turns out that John has also been cheating.”
He said that he has also had instances of individuals confessing to infidelity immediately following an admission from their spouse during the polygraph examination. One thing in particular that Goldstein said prompts individuals to inquire about his service is the instance of an STD (sexually transmitted disease).
According to Goldstein’s website, “Polygraph tests are the most accurate way to establish trust when anyone has been accused of cheating in their relationship. Polygraphs help establish a baseline of trust even when there was prior cheating admitted to in the past. For accuracy, Goldstein uses the same polygraph testing equipment that is used in murder cases. He only conducts polygraph examinations in accordance with procedures and protocols recognized by the American Polygraph Association and the American Association of Police Polygraphists.”