Seniors in the LGBTQ+ community face challenges vastly different from their heterosexual counterparts. The majority of LGBTQ+ seniors alive in today’s world identify as The Silent Generation (born between 1928-1945) and the Baby Boomer Generation (born between 1946-1964). Even a handful identify as Generation X (born between 1965 and 1980).
Whatever the age, generation or culture you recognize as your own, chances are you’ve likely experienced the sting of intolerance, discrimination, isolation and societal judgment. And that’s something queer folks of all ages can acknowledge these days, especially in our current political climate.
But LGBTQ+ seniors face significant, disproportionate challenges, largely stemming from a lifetime of discrimination, stigma, and systemic inequality. They are more likely to experience poverty, profound social isolation, poor health outcomes and often have smaller support networks because they are less likely to have children or partners.
Let’s take a closer look:
Social Isolation and Lack of Support
Roughly 50 percent report feeling lonely or isolated. They are four times less likely to have children and twice as likely to live alone compared to their heterosexual counterparts, leaving them with fewer family caregivers.
Healthcare Discrimination and Disparities
LGBTQ+ seniors face higher rates of disability, mental health issues (anxiety/depression) and HIV. Many encounter bias in care, or fear discrimination so deeply that they avoid seeking necessary medical attention.
Housing and Economic Insecurity
They are more likely to face housing discrimination, including higher costs or lower availability in retirement communities. A lifetime of workplace discrimination leads to higher rates of poverty and financial insecurity in retirement.
Fear of Discrimination in Care Settings
Many fear they will be forced to conceal their true selves in order to receive adequate care in nursing homes or assisted living, as staff may lack training or be unwelcoming.
Lack of Legal Protections
Historically, they lacked recognition for their relationships, which affected social security, inheritance and healthcare decision-making. Some still face uncertainty with federal and some state policies.
WATCH THIS DOCUMENTARY
To get a good look at the actual lived human experience, check out Stu Maddux’s 2010 documentary “Gen Silent.” Although the film is over 15 years old, it still shares valuable insight as it follows the lives of six gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender seniors (in Boston) as they confront a difficult choice: remaining open about who they are and risk hostility, or hide their identities to survive in the healthcare system.
One of the subjects from the film was Krysanne Hembrough, a veteran and a transgender woman who had already lived through decades of discrimination. When Hembrough considered moving into a nursing home, she didn’t do so with optimism, she did so with dread. A previous experience in care had been traumatic: staff were reluctant to even assist with basic personal needs when they learned she was transgender. They frequently avoided physical contact during care routines, leaving her feeling humiliated, isolated and unsafe. That memory, she said, pushed her to exhaust every alternative before agreeing to consider institutional care again. Regrettably Hembrough passed away before the documentary was finished,
Also featured in the film were lesbian partners Sheri Barden and Lois Johnson. After decades together, they worried deeply about how a long-term care facility would treat them – not just as individuals, but as a couple. In one nursing home they visited, fellow residents whispered and stared, and staff looked confused when the couple identified each other as spouses rather than “friends.”
Instead of kindness and support, they found awkwardness, judgment, and uncomfortable silence. Facing the very real possibility of discrimination, Johnson considered the idea of hiding their relationship just to avoid the emotional pain of exclusion.
“Gen Silent” is available to stream for free in most areas if you have a public library card or you’re a student at an institute of higher learning. It’s included in the vast library of films on the Roku app Kanopy and at the Kanopy website, located at https://www.kanopy.com/
AN EPIDEMIC OF LGBTQ+ SENIOR MISTREATMENT
For many LGBTQ+ elders, discrimination can seem insurmountable. Surveys conducted by organizations advocating for older gay, lesbian and trans adults reveal hundreds of reported instances of mistreatment in care settings, ranging from deliberate misgendering and ignoring a person’s partner to outright refusal to provide basic care because of a patient’s identity. These accounts come from lived experiences from long-term care facilities across the country where many older people must rely on others as they age.
Other senior LGBTQ+ individuals have spoken about the deeply personal side of discrimination. In an interview with ABC news, Don Bell, a gay man in his seventies, openly shared his fear of entering senior housing that wasn’t affirming. He worried that without protections, he would have to conceal his identity to be safe, simply because some facilities lack clear anti-discrimination policies. Thankfully, Bell eventually won a spot in one of Chicago’s first LGBTQ+ inclusive housing communities that serves as a rare oasis of acceptance after years of uncertainty.
These experiences are not isolated incidents; they are part of a broader pattern documented by advocates and researchers. Many LGBTQ+ elders report expecting discrimination in long-term care settings – not as something hypothetical, but as something they have seen or experienced first-hand – including ignoring their partners, or treating them as if they didn’t belong.
The roots of these problems stretch back decades. Many LGBTQ+ seniors lived through eras when living openly could cost you your job, your home and even your legal rights. Some have found community and resilience later in life, but the scars of early discrimination stay with them, shaping how they interact with institutions that weren’t built with their well-being in mind.
For transgender elders, the barriers can feel even more personal. Studies and testimonials show that even routine medical encounters can become battlegrounds of misunderstanding and bias, increasing stress and undermining trust – often when they need care the most.
THE IMPORTANCE OF TELLING THEIR STORIES
Through it all, these seniors exhibit remarkable resilience. Their lives tell stories of love that endured for decades, of rebuilding community after profound loss and of advocating – not just for themselves – but for future generations of LGBTQ+ people. They also remind us that while legal protections have expanded in many places, lived experience and fear of discrimination still influence how senior queer and trans adults think about care, housing and trust.
By recounting such experiences – not as statistics but as people – we get closer to understanding the real costs of discrimination. These are not abstract issues; they are personal histories of care and neglect, safety and threat, belonging and exclusion. And they are lived, every day, by LGBTQ+ elders across the country.
BREAKING THE CYCLE OF DISMISSAL
In American society, far too often, the lives of those 60 and over are dismissed and discarded, as though the individuals living in this period of their life have little to contribute, or have outlived their usefulness. That’s far from the truth: the value of LGBTQ+ senior lives is not only in what they endured, but in what they have built.
They created community centers where none existed. They organized pride marches before they were corporate-sponsored festivals. They formed support networks for youth who had been rejected by their families. They advocated for anti-discrimination laws, for hospital visitation rights, for the right to be counted in census data, the decriminalization of same sex relationships and the right to marriage equality.
No matter how old we are, it’s important to validate the lives of seniors in our community, and to take it a step further. Listen to their stories, offer a helping hand and break the cycle of dismissal and non-validation. Be a friend with others in our community who lived their youth in a different period from your own. You’ll be surprised at what we can all share and learn.