Dearest Trinity,

My partner and I have enjoyed a very stable and comfortable two years of monogamy but their part time job of bartending at a local leather bar is making me jealous! I’m Brazilian and it’s natural for me to be jealous. Help!

Yours, Jealous Brazilian   Boston, MA

Dearest Jealous Brazilian,

Everyone knows that Brazilians are hot-blooded, jealous types. Everyone also knows that just like a tornado, jealousy comes out of nowhere, has no course of action except to strike, then damages everything in its path.  Listen Sweetie, try focusing on their stable commitment to monogamy, NOT their job. Wind down your feeling or you may end up forcing them to take cover, somewhere safer and less tumultuous than your relationship!

Kisses, Trinity

Dear Trinity,

Many years back, I saw you in Provincetown, MA giving the sermon, “From Drags to Riches.” You mentioned that you write and syndicate Tell Trinity, do shows, tour AND keep a full-time job! How can I do what you do?

Amazed   San Francisco, CA 

Dear Amazed,

Any artist, writer and/or actor will tell you that in between our many full-time jobs we make time for our dreams. When most people are out dancing till dawn, I’m home working on my dreams. But don’t cry for me Argentina because the truth is I’m living my dreams, and living out our dreams means accepting its tedious, backbreaking, impractical work load. So Babie, if you want to do what I do, find time and make time to work on having your dreams come true!

DATING DILEMMA #577

Hey Trinity,

My girlfriend and I had our first BIG fight. Does this mean it’s over?

Help, First Fight   Topeka, KS

Hey First Fight,

Happily-dating couples often think that they’re in “Oz”. Then comes the first fight when someone appears to be the Wicked Witch of the West but only a cowardly lion needs to run. When the yellow brick road appears gray it often leads to a newer understanding of your commitment. Honey, fighting is normal and is often a healthy way two people let it all out. So let this fight make you two stronger. Practice communication, compromise and forgiveness! Now, until a house falls on your head, remember even Dorothy and Aunty Em had growing pains!

Kisses, Trinity

Hello Trinity,

One minute my boyfriend’s very attentive and the next he’s unaware of my mere existence. Help! 

Yours, MEN (ugh!)   Glens Falls, NY

Hello MEN (ugh!),

You’re either very young or very new to the ways and woes of MEN! So Darling, here’s some tips for getting through the next hundred days or hundred years:

Trinity’s Eye-Opening Tips For Understanding The Lame Activities Of Men

1. Inconsistency, selfishness and cold mood swings are side effects of MSG… and MEN!

2. If he’s madly in love with you and can’t stop thinking about you but acts like NOTHING’S going on then you’re definitely… with a man!  

3. Emotional expressions are often found in woman, artists and many LIVING things but as for men, try again!

4. “MY needs, my freedom, my sexual desires, my side of the story…” are phrases most often spoken by… guess who!

5. SOME men are extremely kind, sensitive, warm and loving but these men are mostly found in… monasteries!

6. Cooking, cleaning, parenting and taking out the trash are things men find… OTHER people to do!

7. If you’re (tired of) hearing, “I’m late,” “I forgot our date” or “Blah, blah, blah, it’s not my fault” then you are surely with a man!

8. Occasional FLINGS and apparent flirting, later accompanied by puppy dog eyes and expensive presents represent many genders but mostly… men!

9. Men often APPEAR as the clear-headed, practical, and passionate types… until the third month of dating!

10. Lastly, now that you know everything about men, don’t fret, because they can also be TRAINED to be… incredibly romantic! 

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With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama, performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings. Sponsored by: WIG Ministries, www.wigministries.org Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Send e-mails to: Trinity@telltrinity.com