Every time I go out looking to meet someone special, I keep meeting undesirables, drunks and the unemployed. It kills me! What am I doing wrong?
Yours, The Wrong Ones Detroit, MI
Dear The Wrong Ones,
In life, odds have it that you could easily go out to a bar, meet an uninspired, depressing yet attractive slob with an endless dialogue of sad stories just as easily as you could meet someone at the same bar well inspired, happy and with many success stories. Pumpkin, its simple, you just have to ask the right questions right up front i.e., “What do you do for a living?” and/or “What’s good in your life?” and if the answer is “Nothing” for both questions then say, “goodbye” and move right along to the next drunk, I mean happy person. If you stick close to your desires of meeting a well-rounded person, odds have it you’ll eventually meet someone great. PS. Remember, beauty has nothing to do with success!
I work three jobs and am saving money for a condo. However, my life is so stressful that sometimes I find myself doing things out of character, which I think are a reaction to my stress. What do you do for stress?
Thanks, Stressing Out Columbia, SC
Dearest Stressing Out,
Being early (not just on time), eating slowly (or just chewing your food) and delegating work (not just doing it all yourself because no one can do it as good as you) are guaranteed medicines for destressing. Other anti-stress activities include making love, listening to the ocean and being around children. You could also hit the health food store and pick some Bach Flower Remedies such as Vervain or Rescue Remedy. Everyone has stress Honey, but some of us practice time and stress management better than others. Start practicing!
I messed up, fell asleep and never cancelled on my last date with someone I just started dating. They’re really mad. How do I make it up to them and get them back?
Thanks, Messed Up Spokane, WA
Hey Messed Up,
When you make a definite plan with someone and don’t show up at all they have every right to be mad but Sweetie you have every right to try to make up for it too. So try:
Trinity’s Fast Action Tips For How To Make Good After Standing Someone Up
- Immediately, if she lives near you, go and attach an “I’m sorry” note on to her door with a short explanation and give the time you wrote the note.
- Don’t make someone wait 24 hours to know why you messed up. Call ASAP apologizing!
- Leave a message on his voicemail and try as much as three times that whole (next) day to reach him live.
- Don’t avoid what you did! Say, “I’m sorry for standing you up and it will never happen again! And sound sincere!
- Promise, “If something comes up again next time I’ll call and give you plenty of warning.”
- Ask “When are you free again?” And if you have to change your plans to accommodate the situation do so. Don’t let a week go by.
- Invite them to dinner at your expense, at their earliest convenience, even if you have to change your plans!
- Call before your next date an hour early just to say, “I’ll see you in an hour.” You must regain their trust!
- Bring a gift when you see her, something small and sweet that expresses, “I really want to make it up to you”, i.e. a flower, a trinket or some chocolates.
- And lastly, don’t do it again, ever again! As you can see it’s too much work for you and too much heartache for the person you stood up!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama, performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings. Sponsored by: WIG Ministries, www.wigministries.org Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Send e-mails to: Trinity@telltrinity.com