I rented out my spare room to this great girl and then started spending a lot of time with her. Now, it’s time for her girlfriend to move in, and I think I’m falling in love. Did I screw up?
Renter’s Love, Des Moines, IA
Dearest Renter’s Love,
Yes, you did, and how! I assume you knew about her girlfriend, which means you need to wake up and fast. First, stop allowing these feelings to take over you. You can’t change your feelings, but you can control what you do with them, i.e., stop acting on them. Second, go looking for other girls. You’ll love a thousand times in your life, so don’t stop now. Third, get over it, move on, about-face and forward march. Oh, and, Honey, if you don’t stop, you’ll end up living in a house full of drama and deception, and that only makes… for a good novel.
If a man sleeps with 12 different men in one year, one a month, is he a slut? Moreover, if he sleeps with 12 different men in one month, and no one else for the rest of the year, is he also a slut? And, lastly, am I a slut?
Thanks, Slut Worries, Atlanta, GA
Dear Slut Worries,
To the first man, I would say, “what the hell are you doing for the rest of the month, living off blow-up dolls and Ben & Jerry’s?” To the second man who’s spending 11 months on his knees praying for forgiveness, I’d say, “get up and start accepting your biological urges.” Darling, one-night stands are acts of survival and pleasure, not religious persecution! Feeling like a slut means not respecting your instincts or your mates. So, respect both of them. Oh, and even though you may not be a slut, you may be a hypochondriac. (What is your adventure index rating? And, how does that match up with your sex drive? Look at my cartoon to see what my perspective is on the subject.)
I’m about to break up with my boyfriend. I’m his first boyfriend, and it’s going to kill him. Help!
Yours, First Break, Pittsburg, PA
Hey First Break,
This is so not fun, so just accept that. This also is very much part of life, like a very cold winter or a very delayed plane flight. So, remember, baby, be patient and kind, be direct and clear, and for your own protection, prepare financially, emotionally and physically in advance for any backlash.
Good luck, Trinity
The other day, this gorgeous guy started flirting with me, but for some reason, I got a sense that he wasn’t single. How do you know if someone’s partnered?
Flirting Woes, Kansas City, MO
Hello Flirting Woes,
I know exactly what you went through, especially if you’re single and easy, I mean easily thrown by the kindness of strangers. Pumpkin, I think I can help with:
Trinity’s Sly Tips For Finding Out If You’re Dating A Married Or Single Man
1. If he invites you to dinner 100 miles away from where he lives, MARRIED!
2. If he says, “I only have email, I don’t have a cellphone,” MARRIED!
3. If he plays hard to get with an attitude, SINGLE.
4. If he plays eager to get with a nervous twitch, MARRIED.
5. If his fourth finger on his left hand has a sunburn in the shape of ring, MARRIED and DECEPTIVE!
6. If he says, “I’d like to invite you to a party,” SINGLE.
7. If he says, “I don’t like parties” or “I’m afraid of crowds,” MARRIED and/or PSYCHOTIC!
8. If he says, “I don’t talk about my relationships until after a few dates,” MARRIED or an FBI agent!
9. If he says, “I’m married, but we’re not sleeping together,” MARRIED AND TROUBLE!
10. Lastly, if he says, “I live in the suburbs in a big house with two dogs,” MARRIED or MARRIAGE MATERIAL. You’ll have to find out for yourself!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
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