My best friend did something horrible to me two years and we never talked after that. Now, we work together, so I’m forced to talk to him. Help!
Forgive Him/Forgive Him Not, Flushing, NY
Hello Forgive Him/Not,
Once, after a huge argument with my father, I stormed out yelling, “I forgive you and now I’m gonna go and figure out how!” Eventually, I knew I’d forgive him, but I didn’t want to waste time. Forgiveness isn’t about giving your money to a man who stole from you, it’s about saying or feeling, “I release you. Now, go away!” Once you do this, whether it feels true for you in the moment or not, you suddenly begin to release your connection, allowing you to live without anger, resentment or fear. It’s all about you and, honey, who needs that garbage anyway!
My girlfriend is always pushing me into trying new things, going to new places, even eating different foods. How do I get her to love me for the woman I am, not for who she wants me to be?
Fine The Way I Am, Baltimore, MD
Hey Fine…I Am,
You mean she wants you to step out of your comfort zone, experience life differently, even have the world be your oyster rather than be a mussel trapped in a clam. Darling, we all need to embrace challenge, diversity, even danger. Some people spend life being great at things they’re already great at, but only a few can chase things they’re unfamiliar with. These people are called gurus, prophets and shamans. Now, take a deep breath, grab your girlfriend’s hand and start flying! (My cartoon can show you ways to expand yourself.)
A year ago, I got really drunk and slept with my college roommate. Does that mean I’m g…g…gay?
Not Too Drunk To Remember, Gainesville, FL
Dear Not Too Drunk,
It takes much more than one drunken night to claim any prestigious gay title. Let time pass and see if you crave these feelings again. Unless you know deep down inside whether you’re gay or not, then you’ll have to wait or keep searching for the answer. Also, sweetie, fear only fear itself because life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing. Oh, and don’t drink so much next time!
I love traveling and visiting friends, but recently I got a nasty letter from a friend telling me that I was a lousy guest and that I better learn some houseguest manners. Any advice?
House Guest Troubles, San Francisco, CA
Dearest House Guest Troubles
Don’t you just hate those letters! Why didn’t they just tell you what was wrong then? Baby, I guess they’re only human. So, here are:
Trinity’s Successful Tips For Being The Perfect Houseguest
1. Always arrive with a gift. Don’t wait till you leave ‘cause it may be too late.
2. Clean up after yourself and them. It’s nice to be pampered by the pampered.
3. Ask questions about the house rules. Don’t wait for them to yell…I mean tell you.
4. Don’t spend your entire time in their house and/or in their lives. Too much company is company that’s “Too much!”
5. Don’t tell them how to live or decorate better, but rather buy something you think would fit nicely in their home.
6. If you use the phone or answer the door take unbelievably great messages.
7. If you’re there for a few days, make them, bring them or take them out to dinner.
8. Spend time with them if possible. Never crash, get smashed, trash and dash! (Ref. back to #7)
9. Before you leave, clean up the space(s) that you used, i.e. bathroom, bedroom and kitchen.
10. Lastly, a thank you card or call is a must. This is a Trinity top ten tip you can trust. : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.