My ex cheated on me several times, but I still love him. We’re not together anymore, but I’m trying desperately to win him back even though he may not want me. What should I do?
Desperate, Kansas City, MO
A desperate person who goes after inconsistent, one-sided relationships always knows he or she is acting desperately and inconsistently to themselves (period). Baby, whatever abandonment issues you acquired in your youth, unlearn these fears immediately and start yearning for a better life. Keep reminding yourself, “I deserve more! I deserve more! I deserve more!”
My houseguests left me with a mess. I didn’t want to be rude, but I am ready to kill them. What do I do next time?
House Mess, Flagstaff, AZ
Hello House Mess,
Before you get left holding the broom again, let this be a lesson. Next time, let your guests know the “House Guest Rules” before they settle in. Either place a note on the refrigerator or on their nightstand. Some fools, I mean folks, don’t know how to be good house guests, so you’re better off just showing them right up front. (My cartoon shows you how I’d deal with this myself. Say “tidy” anyone?)
I stupidly moved with my boyfriend into his parent’s house. He said, “We’ll save money until we get on our (financial) feet.” We’re on our feet now, but he still insists on “staying and saving money.” I love his family, but I want our own space. Help!
Family Trapped, Charleston, SC
It sounds like he’s having to choose between his family and his relationship and you’re having to do the same, but for different reasons. A timeline is going to have to be drawn. Timelines and goals are always good motivators. I’m sure his parents want their place back, too, as well as their son to grow up. So, maybe they can help as well. And, sweetie, if after a while he still doesn’t want a new place, then you may have to find a new boyfriend.
I borrowed money from my ex and it’s taking much longer to pay it back. Now, like a bounty hunter, I am constantly being harassed for the money. How do I get him off my back?
Hunted, Savannah, GA
If you want him off your back, then show some backbone and get your debt off his back. Pumpkin, you can steal someone’s heart, but not their money. So, here are:
Trinity’s Tips For Owing Money Responsibly To Someone You Know
1. Having to chase someone for money is awful. Make their responsibility yours by keeping in constant contact with them.
2. Even if it’s only 1 percent of what you owe, send timely payments. You’ll be glad you did!
3. Don’t just write or email, but call to say, “Hi, I haven’t forgot about you!”
4. If you can’t figure out how to pay someone back, then think: bank loan, credit card loan or getting a different personal loan.
5. Even if you borrow money from the richest low life on earth, you borrowed it. You must pay it back! (Key word: integrity)
6. If you’re very short loan turns into a very long disaster then find another fool, I mean friend, to borrow from. End this debt and begin another!
7. Never hide from your debts, but physically visit the person you owe money to and take them to lunch!
8. Showing your honest face and acting friendly for some emotional reason makes your outstanding loan a lot more forgivable!
9. When you do make that final payment, include a card, a gift and a big “Thanks!”
10. Lastly, if you just keep paying off some of your loan, you can usually extend it. In theory, you can keep an honest loan lasting quite some time! : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.