Hello Trinity,
We all know the court system is biased and dependent upon whether a judge is having a good day or not. But, even worse, I got in trouble and have to go to court. Any suggestions for playing the “court” game?
Court Troubles, Cambridge, Mass.

Hello Court Troubles,
There are many ways to go to court, but only a few ways to win. Know the court system, know the laws and know your case inside and out. Research the rules, your rights and defendants in other cases who went through what you are going through. Also, try in your head to cover both sides or the “other side of the story” so you know what your opponent might say. If you can get a lawyer that would be great and ask lots of questions. In other words, pumpkin, get well prepared for your case, well-dressed for court and you might as well have a winning attitude about this whole thing. If you do lose, pay your fine, do your time and stop breaking the law!

Dear Trinity,
I am going to meet my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Help!
Parent Quandaries, Dayton, Ohio

Dear Parent Quandaries,
Should I dress respectfully? Should I have just one drink? Should I answer all their questions politely?” and “Should I be on my best behavior?” are all thoughts you should be asking yourself and answering yes to. Now, if this is the case then relax, enjoy yourself and expect to be interrogated like a criminal and, honey, expect to lie like one too. (See how I would do this in my cartoon.)

Hey Trinity,
I’m starting to date someone who’s in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). He says it’s no problem that I drink, but do you think it can really work if I still drink?
Stuck On Drinking, Santa Fe, N.M.

Hey Stuck,
Anything can work if you both agree on it. Yet, dating someone in AA or anyone who has alcohol issues means you may want to think a little deeper about drinking around them. Most people in AA try waiting past their first year before being around any alcohol-related situations. But, if he doesn’t mind or is past that first year and you like to drink, then what the hell, drink. But, darling, why not just do it with your friends when your date’s not around!

Dearest Trinity,
I’m trapped in a marriage with someone who loves me even though I no longer love her. Must I sexually please my partner just to make our relationship work better?
Trapped, Lincoln, Neb.

Dearest Trapped,
When prisoners of war are trapped they learn to accept their situation or escape; not complain or be shot; make each day wonderful or make everyone around them miserable; and, lastly, to sexually please those around them who are trying to make their situation better. In other words, sweetie, start reading:

Trinity’s Unselfish Tips For Why To Please Your Spouse
(Partner, Lover or Other Half)

1. Because s/he’s younger and sexier than you.
2. Because s/he buys you beautiful, expensive things.
3. Because you can’t go through another divorce.
4. Because s/he asks for sex only a few times a month and the rest of the time you live like a queen/king.
5. Because s/he gives you everything you want even when s/he doesn’t want to.
6. Because s/he will be pushed elsewhere, maybe even dangerous places, for sex.
7. Because s/he puts up with your moody, stubborn, spoiled attitude.
8. Because you are part of your relationship problem and sometimes you need to compromise.
9. Because s/he and everyone needs love and intimacy from their spouse.
10. Lastly, because it’s the right thing to do. Pleasing your other half is what you’re supposed to do even when you’d rather be shopping.

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
Tell Trinity, 1617 Rue Champlain, Montreal, QC H2L2S5
Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild
800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org