Dear Trinity,
I went out last Friday night, met lots of guys, danced and made some great connections. This Friday, however, I couldn’t even get the “tide to take me out.” Is it me or is it just in the tides?
Finding My Dating Cycle, Orlando, FL

Dear Dating Cycle,
When it comes to the “cycle of dating” —everyone has lousy and lucky or desirable days. Days where everyone wants to get in your pajamas and days where everyone acts like you’re wearing pajamas. Maybe it has to do with the full moon, the stars or your chemistry, but most likely it’s just your “dating cycle.” Now, honey, if you accept this dating cycle, you can truly ride out these down tides just like a surfer patiently waits for the perfect wave and then jumps on it. But in the meantime, try reading, exercising, visiting sick relatives, studying French or redecorating your home. Knowing when to stash your surfboard or pull it out for the big wave is key to riding a healthy dating cycle!

Dearest Trinity,
I’m dating a great, sexy guy, but he’s a smoker and it’s awful!
Smoked Out, San Jose, CA

Dearest Smoked Out,
I know! Isn’t it the worst! So, either a) only go to outside events, b) stop dating altogether, c) get my “Tips for dating a smoker“ or d) send this date my “Tips for being a smoker who is dating a non-smoker.” Just email me, sweetie, and good luck! (How come nobody can take a real hint about how nose-clip-worthy it is to be with a smoker? Take a hint from my cartoon!)

Hey Trinity,
I’ve been chatting on the Internet and meeting way too many jerks. Why do all the jerks seem to hang out on the Internet?
Inter-NOT, Baltimore, MD

Hey Inter-NOT,
Many fools think that just because they’re chatting on the net and not in person, that they can be inconsistent, irresponsible and have no integrity. Remember, pumpkin, most people who have nothing to hide don’t hide on the Internet!

Hey Trinity,
I met someone who doesn’t really like to talk about himself. Should I be concerned?
Secret Meetings, Montreal, QC

Dear Secret Meeting,
Yes, be cautious whenever someone new won’t talk about themselves. Maybe he’s shy, famous or a spy. Maybe he has a dirty past. But for more clues, here are:

Trinity’s Secret Tips For What It “Really” Means When Someone Won’t Talk
1. When someone won’t talk about their job, then they’re probably a doctor, lawyer, priest, CIA agent or unemployed.
2. When someone won’t talk about where they live, then they’re possibly living in a bad neighborhood, marriage, prison or mental hospital.
3. When someone won’t disclose their last name, then you can presume they’re a famous actor or politician, ashamed of their family ties or wanted for heinous crimes.
4. When someone won’t talk about their childhood, then they’re likely to have been very religious, rich, abused or from the mob.
5. When someone won’t answer, “What brought you here?” then there’s a chance they’re escaping from a relationship, memory loss, child abuse or (you guessed it) prison.
6. When someone won’t answer the question, “What brought you to talk to me?” then they may be shy, out of touch, incestuous or an undercover cop!
7. When someone won’t talk about where they’re going after they leave you, then they could be going to cheat, gamble, get drunk (again) or run away forever.
8. When someone won’t talk about their day, then they presumably got fired, crashed the car, lost your dog or witnessed a very bad decorating job!
9. When someone won’t talk about last night, then in all likelihood they either got laid, arrested, gambled it all away or got married in a Vegas wedding.
10. Lastly, when someone won’t talk at all, then they’re unfortunately very upset, shy, sick with laryngitis, mute or very confused because you keep asking them questions!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, Learn more at