As a Baptist minister, a co-founder of the Family Research Council and a board member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), George Rekers has been a relentless leader of the Christian right for decades. He lifted the banner of anti-gay activism, but now he can’t lift luggage.

That’s the reason he gave for hiring a male escort to accompany him on a European vacation. Thanks to surgery, Rekers needed the 20-year-old to carry his luggage. His second story was he brought him along to urge him toward Jesus and away from homosexuality.

We’ll be learning more about Rekers. And, for that matter, about the callboy dubbed “Lucien.” Right now I can only guess, based on the information in the Miami New Times, which broke the story, what that 10-day sojourn abroad was like:

Rekers: You’re back! Right on time.

Lucien: Barely. I got lost on the subway. Ended up in some place called Convent Garden.

Rekers: I think you mean Covent Garden.

Lucien: Oh. You were right, the British Museum was fab. I might go back tomorrow. Want to go with? I saw a hieroglyphic that looked just like you when you sneeze.

Rekers: Wow. I’m old, but not that old. Did you spend your whole stipend today?

Lucien: No, I’m saving to go to Harrods tomorrow.

Rekers: I call this a practical arrangement. You go out and spend money; I stay in the hotel room and spend none.

Lucien: Why don’t you come with me? It’ll be fun.

Rekers: I told you. Allergies. Really bad ones.

Lucien: You have a whole suitcase full of medicine. I know — I carried it. Doesn’t that help?

Rekers: No. I guess I’m just allergic to London. Maybe I’m allergic to Beefeaters.

Lucien: Is that a gay club?

Rekers: No.

Lucien: I should’ve picked a different city.

Rekers: I might do better when we get to Madrid. Y’know, you look different from your Rentboy profile.

Lucien: I do?

Rekers: In a good way. I noticed that the first time I came to your townhouse.

Lucien: I noticed your mustache. When you take your clothes off, I swear it changes color.

Rekers: Oh my God! Excuse me, Lord. Didn’t mean that.

Lucien: I love being here. I’m not in a hurry to get back to Florida.

Rekers: I love that I finally found an escort who worked out. You just don’t know what you’re getting.

Lucien: Yes you do. Eight inches. I told the truth on my profile.

Rekers: I mean, you don’t know if the guy can have a conversation or whether he’s out to rip you off.

Lucien: George, how come you don’t want real sex? Or to get off?

Rekers: My mama raised me not to be a greedy boy.

Lucien: Okay, whatever.

Rekers: Besides, you’ve gotten so good at the Long Stroke. Except yesterday, you made me giggle.

Lucien: It’s a sensitive area.

Rekers: Yup.

Lucien: I see why you call it that. It is long. And, complicated. Front, and back. Since you want it every day, I’m afraid of getting carpal tunnel syndrome.

Rekers: I guess there’s no workers’ comp for that.

Lucien: Ready?

Rekers: Make sure you rub the whole body, especially my shoulders. I feel tense.

Lucien: How come?

Rekers: Now I know my moustache is about to change color. : :

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