Hello Trinity,
After not doing anything spiritual for years, I feel like it’s time to start doing something spiritual and find some sort of personal path to follow. Any suggestions?
Sincerely, On A Path, Milwaukee, WI

Hello On A Path
If you’re alive and living then you’re on a spiritual path. As for finding a stronger connection to that path, here’s three hints from what the Buddhists call “being mindful:” 1) Notice the beauty in all things, especially things you can’t find beauty in 2) Acknowledge that what seems bad now will inevitably seem good, and, 3) Have faith in your intuition, your gut and your sixth sense. Also, darling, think rituals, i.e., lighting a special candle, making a group meal, having a special place you visit regularly, etc. Do something spiritual and something spiritual will happen.
Kisses, Trinity

Dear Trinity,
After knowing about each other for three years and now dating and living together for six months, my girlfriend and I want to have a wedding ceremony. But some of our friends and family say wait a while. Trinity, when is “a while” long enough?
Sincerely, Goin’ to the Chapel, Washington, D.C.

Dear Goin’ to the Chapel,
This is one of the world’s greatest, unanswerable questions. Commitment in one day, one week, two months, nine months, one year? Pumpkin, living together, facing regular problems and letting time teach you both about each other is a ceremony in itself. In the end, I would save your wedding for at least your first year anniversary. This way you get to save money for it. Remember, sweetie, slow and steady wins the race. (If you do decide to wed, don’t look at the long line for divorces as my cartoon shows! It could put a damper on the bliss.)

Dearest Trinity,
I’m a single, 30-year-old youthful dresser. But my friends say I “dress more immature than youthful and I won’t get a serious date with the way I dress.” What should a 30-something person wear?
Thirty Or Thirteen, Spokane, WA

Dearest Thirty Or Thirteen,
I’d like to say, what do your friends know, but if they’re your friends, then they may know a bit about you. So let’s get rid of those oversized grunge pants, Eminem T-shirts and toss out your platform sneakers. Being 30 and single may mean accepting your maturity and being comfortable with it. It may also mean dressing comfortably, being less interested in fitting in and more interested in having your clothes fit well. So, honey, be yourself but shop somewhere else!
XOXO Trinity

Hey Trinity,
It seems like every time I go out some sloppy, uncontrollable drunk hits on me. I don’t mind drinkers, I drink myself. But when someone gets pushy and drooly, I get upset. Help!
Thanks, Pushy/Drooly Troubles, Amarillo, TX

Hey Pushy/Drooly Troubles,
Frank Sinatra once said, “I hate being around drunk people, they keep stepping on my hands.” Pumpkin, I feel your pain when it comes to being around drunks. So until the world gets a Drunk-O-Meter, try reading,

Trinity’s Witty Tips For What To Say To A Pushy/Aggressive Drunk
1. “Repeat after me. I’m too drunk to pick up anyone!”
2. “Do you know you’ve told me that exact same story, four times!”
3. “By the time my husband, the pro-wrestler returns, you better be gone!”
4. “I must bring you into the bathroom mirror so you can see just how drunk you look.”
5. “You’ve got blood coming out of your nose. I’m sorry, I’ve got to go!”
6. “Repeat after me five times — I’m a dirty, drunken fool, who needs to go home.”
7. “Honey, a) Stop spitting on me, and b) pour your drinks on someone else. I’m leaving!”
8. “Sloppy, Drunk, Dopey and Disgusting are the only dwarfs you’ll be taking home tonight.”
9. “Please pick yourself up off the floor. Wipe the barf off of your face and go away!”
10. And lastly, when all else fails, try this line, “Get lost, Buddy!”

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.