My girlfriend moved to Colorado for a while because of family dilemmas, and I stayed here in Kansas. Since she left, I haven’t heard from her much and today she called to say we should take a break. Does this mean she doesn’t want me or that she met someone else?
Left Behind, Wichita, KS
Dear Left Behind,
Those breakup calls can leave you dizzy and delusional. Now, splash some cold water on your face, mix yourself a mocha martini and listen up! If someone says, “we should take a break,” then that definitely, without a doubt, means she doesn’t want to be with you… for now, or that something has changed in her head (or in her bed). It could also mean that she might have met someone else, or she may just simply feel like she needs to stay away for a while and doesn’t want to string you along. Pumpkin, the only way to truly know what’s happening is to simply ask, “What happened?” If you were girlfriends for longer than a couple months, then you absolutely deserve to know who she’s sleeping with, I mean, why she’s slipping away!
Good luck, Trinity
Everyone has extramarital affairs. What’s so wrong with it? Plus, I’m a gay man. Aren’t the rules different for us?
Yours, Extra Extra, Billings, MT
Dearest Extra Extra,
Yes, many couples “cheat,” “play” or have “extramarital affairs.” And, as for gay male couples, I will agree that the marriage etiquette can be different. But, honey, try to spend more time in the bedroom with your partner. The outside world is very tempting, but sometimes you just have to say “no” and choose to respect yourself, your relationship and honor what you have!
I met someone great, but I don’t want to date them, and it hurts me so much to have to hurt them. I was just dumped and have already dumped someone once this year, and I cried. How can I dump someone without hurting them?
Dumping Hurts, Santa Fe, NM
Hey Dumping Hurts,
Wouldn’t it be nice if one could just say, “I’m not interested,” and everyone would be happy? But everyone hates to be the dumper and/or the dumpee. That’s life, and sometimes it’s better to just rip off the band-aid. So, try starting with a deep breath and just blurting out, “This isn’t working out for me,” or “I need to stop seeing you,” then the rest will flow with poison, I mean passion. Also, sweetie, remember you ARE NOT responsible for everyone’s feelings… most of the time!
I have two male coworkers who “think” they’re straight, but I’m sure they’re not. How do I tell them gently that, “you’re not straight?” I want to be tactful but clear.
Save Our Straights , Palisades Park, NJ
I also know some straight men who have quicker comebacks and a smarter fashion sense than a bar full of gays. Darling, next time you’re all having a dry martini together try reading them:
Trinity’s Facts For What You Instinctively Do Just Because You’re A Gay Man
- You know how to make a FABULOUS entrance.
- You truly understand the importance of good LIGHTING.
- Your best friends were once your LOVERS.
- You have a medicine cabinet filled with little GOODIES.
- You know how to give just the right smile that says, “stay AWAY!”
- Your fantasies include back up DANCERS.
- You have “GIRLFRIENDS” who are neither girls nor friends.
- You can lip-sync to at least one entire Broadway MUSICAL.
- You can SPOT a toupee from one hundred yards.
- And lastly, you can comfortably have complicated SEX.
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama, performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings. Sponsored by: WIG Ministries, www.wigministries.org Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Send e-mails to: Trinity@telltrinity.com
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