Hey Trinity,
I’m not becoming a priest, but I thought I’d try celibacy. Do you think it’s a good idea?
The C. Word, Annapolis, MD

Hey, The C. Word,
Sure, taking a break from sex and self-manipulation saves your chi, makes you more creative and makes you hungrier for meeting someone special. But, pumpkin, if you’re going ce… ce… ce… celibate because you’re tired of anonymous sex or dating losers, then try again. Celibacy is for people of “the cloth” or people recovering from a disease, including sex or intimacy addictions. You may not need to abstain from sex, but rather forgive your past experiences, choose healthier experiences and abstain from your fears of intimacy!

Dear Trinity,
After a breakup, a job loss and an eviction notice, I’m hitting bottom. I’m always depressed and never have energy. Any advice?
Bottomed Out, Nashville, TN

Dear Bottomed Out,
You should feel sad for a few days to a couple of weeks, but then it’s time to fight back. Besides calling all your friends, searching the internet as well as newspapers for help to find a lover, job and a home, then try oversleeping, exercising, dieting and taking a little trip away. Staying active, honey, is the only way to beat depression. Remember, busy people rarely have time to be depressed! (My cartoon can show you how I handle this awful mire.)

Dearest Trinity,
I’m 39 and fairly stable with a job, money, etc. My boyfriend of almost a year is 21, holds a full and part-time job, is very honest and never asks for anything. I buy him flowers weekly and take him out. But, my friends feel I treat him too good. Is there “too good?”
Too Good, Seattle, WA

Dearest TG,
Giving is totally fine, but remember men get bored easily if they don’t have to work for something. So, sweetie, let him work a little, which it sounds like he does. Also, tell your jealous friends to let you learn about love, dating and giving to your hearts desire. And, if it doesn’t work out, I’m available!

Hello Trinity,
My boyfriend and I have just celebrated our sixth month. Isn’t it time to suggest moving in, getting married or something?
Sixth Month Itch, Toronto, ONT

Hello Sixth Itch,
Sure, by month six you should be on your way toward some future plans. However, if it’s going well, must you pull out your “to do” list just yet? Maybe wait till the 11th or 12th month to start talking. If you’ll be together forever what’s a few more months? P.S. Also read:

Trinity’s Sound Tips For What To Still Not Talk About Even In The Sixth Month Of A Relationship
1. Don’t talk about moving in together. It’s too soon! (Unless you find a two-bedroom apartment for $500 in Montreal or $1,000 in NYC.)
2. Don’t talk about marriage. Not just yet!
3. Don’t talk about open relationships, threeways or threesomes unless you have no sex life and still want to stay together.
4. Don’t talk about your past sexual escapades. Everyone has parts of their past that no one needs to know about, ever!
5. Don’t talk about buying property together. Baby, it’s unnecessary.
6. Don’t talk about his or her financial issues. You don’t want to get that close to anyone, just yet!
7. Don’t talk about his or her family’s problems. As a matter of fact, never talk about them, especially about his or her mother.
8. Don’t talk about the benefits of plastic surgery even if you have to look at his or her double chin and crossed-eye forever!
9. Don’t talk about borrowing money even if one of you has a lot more than the other. Refer to the song: “Money Changes Everything.”
10. And, lastly, don’t talk about religious conversions, sex changes or the Republicans! It’s way too upsetting! : :

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was
host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama,
and now performs globally.

info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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