Dear Trinity,
Why are some of us cursed with being forever single while everyone else gets to be in love or married? Doesn’t being single just suck?
Help, Forever Single, St. Louis, Mo.
Dear Forever Single,
If you look real closely at people in love you’ll notice plenty of troubled moments hidden in between public displays of bliss. Being in a relationship truly is not any easier than being without that special someone to hug and kiss and, and…forget what I just said! Single sucks! Sucks! Sucks! Sucks! But, honey, being single does give you lots of time to develop yourself. Remember the grass is always greener so take this time of being single to work on your dreams and yourself because when love comes aknockin’ the alone time you once dreaded eventually becomes your best friend.
Hello Trinity,
Every time I go on a date something goes wrong. I say the wrong thing or can’t stop acting nervous. I don’t want to be perfect but how can I date better?
Better Dating, Orlando, Fla.
Hello Better Dating,
In dating as in life, “Everything that can go wrong will!” But eventually as we gain experience we also learn to make better out of the worst. During tough times keep your head up high and think “outside the box.” Think making fun of your mistakes, think being fabulous versus being frustrated and, lastly babie, think solution versus problem. (I can show you how in my cartoon, honey.)
Hi Trinity,
Next month I’m going to do drag for the first time. I don’t know how to dress, do makeup, and especially, how to act like a woman. Any advise?
First Timer, Atlanta, Ga.
Hi First Timer,
Condragulations! Now, darling, let’s start at your face by having it done up at MAC (average $40 bucks) or by purchasing the essential six: lipstick, blush, shadow, liquid eyeliner and Covermark foundation and powder. Remember: Covergirl does not cover boys! For the feet, think Payless Shoes and add one-and-a-half to your size. Legs, think two layers of nylons, first opaque to cover the hair, then flesh on top. Or, buy Capezio tights. Outfits, think long sleeves to cover those manly arms and think black. It goes everywhere, as well as rhinestones. Now, as for appearances, remember men appear tough, fast and dominant, females appear gentle, patient and calm. Women wave with their fingers and toss their hair back, men use their whole hand and rarely play with their hair in public. Lastly, for your drag name: first name is first dog, last name is mother’s maiden name. I would be Piper Kurland. And, sweetie, don’t forget: A drag queen always sports false lashes, a wig, Lee press on nails and heels. Otherwise you’re just a man in a dress.
Dear Trinity,
I’m thinking of coming out to my family. Before I do, have you got any comforting words of wisdom?
Coming Out, Sacramento, Calif.
Dear Coming Out,
Welcome back, Dorothy! Coming out usually is a shocker at first, but years later they always say, “I never had a problem with it.” So, pumpkin, prepare yourself with:
Trinity’s Comfortable Tips For Coming Out
1. Set up a support system for yourself before you say the “holy words!”
2. Leave yourself a little financial independence before you tell them, just in case.
3. Leave a few hints prior to the big surprise. Like this article!
4. Be understanding towards their new situation! Time heals everything.
5. Make sure no one is standing near a cliff when you tell them.
6. First, tell them you have cancer then say, “Just kidding! I’m only gay!”
7. Get them the DVDs of “Will and Grace.”
8. Get them to visit gay places, events or gay spiritual groups.
9. Feel pride in knowing that it only gets better… after it gets worse!
10. And lastly, hold your ground (or go dancing)!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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