The LGBTQ+ community has always been a safe space for folks to explore what they like (or realize what they don’t like) when it comes to sexuality. Kinks and fetishes are concepts queer-identifying folks tend to be more open-minded and embracing with, rather than shying away from the “shame” heterosexual culture often places on sex.
But what are some of these kinks and fetishes? Here’s a guide with some of the more common terms and most talked about kinks and fetishes, along with definitions to help guide you through this world.
BDSM
Standing for “bondage and discipline; dominance and submission; and sadism and masochism,” there are entire communities for those who wish to engage in BDSM. Examples of BDSM related kinks will be below.
Age play
Acting or treating someone like they’re younger or older than their actual age.
Blindfold sex
This kink or fetish is all about preventing yourself or your partner from seeing, which can be achieved with blindfolds or a dark room. Some say restricting one’s vision calms anxiety, insecurity, or feelings of religious guilt. It can also heighten the other senses, and is a common BDSM kink.
Bondage
It’s one of the most popular kinks — being bound, using handcuffs, or tying up your partner might make you feel safe, dominated, or powerful.
Claustrophilia
The desire to have sex in small, tight spaces.
Cuckolding
Historically, a cuckold was basically a man scorned — usually a husband with an unfaithful wife. As a kink, cuckolding is watching a partner of any gender have sex with someone else can be a massive turn-on.
Degradation and humiliation
A common BDSM kink, degradation and humiliation is very common in dominant/submissive relationships. The dom will often do things to to dehumanize or humiliate the sub, which turns on both parties.
Gagging
When one likes the sound of one choking or when one likes to gag or be gagged. This can be achieved by ramming something down one’s throat or by placing a device over one’s mouth.
Masochism
The act of enjoying pain in a sexual encounter, and it could be physical or emotional. Being spanked, whipped, spit on, choked, or what is generally perceived as culturally negative name-calling are all examples of masochism.
Orgasm control
This includes forced orgasms, orgasm denial and edging (repeatedly stopping just before climax to encourage increased arousal).
Sadism
The opposite of masochism; getting enjoyment from inflicting pain on others while engaging in sexual activities.
Urophilia
Getting aroused by sexual acts involving urine, including golden showers and watersports.
Wax play
When one gets enjoyment from having hot wax poured onto or pouring hot wax onto someone else. There are specialty candles made to burn at a safe temperature for skin, as well as candles when burned turn into massage oil that can be put on the body.